


The Web Weaved in the Sister's Bar for Your Above-Average Mercenary

by khryseraph



Series: Khryseraph's Spideypool Collection [2]
Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Barebacking, Bartender Peter, Beating, Deadpool has a crush on Spidey, Degradation, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, Fluff, Hero Worship, Humiliation, Humor, M/M, Name-Calling, Peter is a good friend, Ridiculous Flirting, Sassy Peter, Shit Ton of Making Out, Sister Margaret's Home For Wayward Girls, Slapping, Spanking, Spider-Man Identity Crisis, Subby Wade, Trying my best, Venom is the Safe Word, Verbal Humiliation, Wade doesn't know love, Wade has a crush on Peter, ballbusting, dominant peter, musk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:34:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23760910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khryseraph/pseuds/khryseraph
Summary: The first fanfic I'm making based on my "Call for Prompts for Spideypool" post! This idea was provided from cinderella. Thanks for the inspiration!Peter is the sassy, humorous bartender of Sister Margaret's. He isn't really fazed by the general chaos of the bar and can also drink anyone under the table. Wade is a mercenary that is trying really hard to impress that cute, hot bartender but also trying to stay loyal to his crush, Spidey. He's torn and a little panicked about that but in the end Peter reveals his identity. So basically, identity porn, fluff, humor, maybe an arm wrestling challenge, sex if you want (AN: Oh, I want), ridiculous flirting, and a shit ton of making out. (Possibly angst because Wade can't choose?) Sexual fast burn but emotional slow burn, if that sounds okay lol. (Did that make sense?) Oof. That's all <3
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson, Spider-Man/Deadpool
Series: Khryseraph's Spideypool Collection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1710769
Comments: 52
Kudos: 229





	1. The Bar

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just super excited to tackle this first prompt! This is the first prompt I've chosen out of four made available to me, and I just want to thank all four of you who submitted. This one resonated with me the most atm, but this certainly won't be the last. Thanks bb cinderella!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets his first look, and makes his first impression on, the hot new bartender at Sister Margaret's Home for Wayward Girls.

_Well, hot damn._

That was Wade's first thought as he strut into Sister Margaret's and laid his blue eyes on Weasel's new bartender.

The man ( _~But he's a boy! Look at that baby face! Could just squish it between my butt cheeks.~_ ) was chuckling at Buck's joke as he poured another shot of whiskey for the large fella. 

Peter wasn't actually at all humored by Buck's deprecating joke about women, but you gotta get the tips somehow, and Peter definitely needed the money. After this most recent war, losing the man who was essentially his father figure after five amazing years, Peter was on his own, emotionally and financially. Aunt May died from cancer three years after the Snap, Happy worked exclusively with Pepper and Morgan to help them get around and care for them nowadays. Ned and MJ reappeared, but Peter was a far different man than he was five years ago and hadn't chosen to even visit them yet. As he watched the light fade from Tony's eyes, his heart broke in two.

At the time, all he could think: _my dad is dead. Again._

So here he was, a month after the battle, serving shots to a rowdy bunch of neanderthals in a dump of a bar hidden in downtown Manhattan. He had sent resumes and applications out to at least twenty different bars and restaurants, since Tony had expertly taught him how to pour everything from a shot of Svedka to James Bond's classic Vesper Martini. Sister Margaret's Home for Wayward Girls, also called the Hellhole by the locals, was the only place to consider taking the 21-year-old as a potential barkeep. 

So here he was, chuckling along to Buck's sexist joke as the fat man put a nice tip in his jar. 

_Maybe I'll get to stop by that pizza place after work, the one that only hires women. Give them a nice tip in return._

As he was thinking about how best to spend his hard-earned money, he failed to notice the red-and-black-clad mercenary stalking him from the opposite end of the bar. As soon as Buck's fourth drink was poured, the younger man heard an impressive whistle pierce his ears.

He looked down the bar, glancing at the new customer taking a seat at the bar.

_Nice outfit. Wonder if he's a hero? I haven't heard of him._

Peter walked towards the costumed man, giving the man the best smile he could muster.

"Hey there! Welcome to Sister Margaret's! Is there something I can get for you?"

Wade's heart just about melted at seeing Peter's adorable, toothy smile. What a fucking cutie.

"Hey there cutie-pie! What's a place like you doing in a person like this?" Wade smiled under his mask, his eyes mysteriously expressive to the cutie behind the counter.

Peter blushed slightly, but managed to shake it off. 

"Oh, you know, just searching out the cute guys to seduce." He sent another seductive smile towards the costumed man.

Wade definitely blushed under his mask.

"Damn, Baby Boy! Trying to get into some grown men's pants, huh?"

Peter laughed, slightly reconsidering the joking tone he took with his new customer.

"Gotta earn those tips somehow, you know? What can I get for you?"

Wade laughed. "Let's start with an appletini for me, Baby Boy. After that, your choice. A couple shots of whatever you think is best."

Peter nodded, preparing Wade's drink of choice.

Once Wade started sipping on his cocktail, Peter poured out a couple of the most expensive shots he could find. He wouldn't turn a customer down when they told him to pour a shot of his choice.

Wade had rolled up his mask so that he could fit the appletini's straw in his mouth. When that glass was drained, he tried to turn away from Peter as he took the (incredibly expensive) shots. 

Fortunately for him, Peter was busy serving other customers. Wade smirked when he'd rolled his mask back down, smacking his lips at the drink he knew to be very expensive.

_Smart boy. Get that moolah!_

He wasn't embarrassed of his skin condition per se, but he didn't want this cute new bartender throwing up all over his bar on his first day of work. 

Wade spent the rest of his night taking Peter's expensive shots, holding off on tipping him until the end of the night.

When most of the vagabonds and thieves had left the bar (near about 5 in the morning), Wade was still sitting at the counter, ogling the boy. 

Peter finally shouted out last call to the remaining seven or so patrons. By this point, Peter felt quite frustrated with the man, since tips were definitely customary in this business and the man had yet to contribute to his meager tip jar.

That only lasted until the costumed man left the bar, giving one last smirk towards the hard-working bartender, who was about to be pleasantly surprised.

After all, Peter hadn't certainly been expecting the $500 tip found under Wade's third appletini glass. 

As Peter left the bar, changing in an alleyway into his Spider-Man uniform, he felt an extreme level of joy at the amount of money in his pocket. Weasel, who lived above the bar, had taken half of Peter's tips to account for the privilege of serving in his bar. Even so, Peter still walked away with a cool $350, largely thanks to that costumed man's contribution. 

What a guy.

Peter thought about the man as he swung his way to his apartment. The man had hit on Peter as he served him drinks, but hadn't really changed over the course of the night, unlike people like Buck. The alcohol didn't seem to have a big effect on the man.

Peter hoped he'd see this mystery man again.


	2. The Crime-Fighter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man makes his usual rounds about town before meeting a familiar costumed mercenary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE COMMENTS. They literally make my day. Also, @cinderella, I'm happy that I could tell you the story you wanted to hear! Please lmk if there's anything I can do to make it even better.

Spider-Man's web shooters _thwipped_ steadily as he made his way across town. He always made sure to do a quick sweep before work started, just making sure nothing would be going down when he was expected to be on shift. 

He hit his standard targets - the docks, the empty warehouses, the isolated alleys. The only situation he'd resolved were two men in an alley, guns aimed at each other.

"What's goin' on, guys? Why wasn't I invited for the show-down?" Peter quipped as he landed between them, yanking the guns out of their hands with webs.

They both started cursing and running towards him, barreling at him head-first. 

"Aw. You guys are adorable."

He leapt up at the last second, letting the two bozos slam into each other. A few _thwips_ later and they were both secured to the ground, one of each of their hands holding the other's. 

"That should teach you to play nice!" 

Peter swiftly got back in the air as he left one of their phones on, calling the police.

_Time to get to work!_

As he leapt across the rooftops nearing Sister Margaret's, he heard a squealing as he was tackled from his right side. He was especially confused as he and his assailant collapsed on the rooftop, since his Spider-Sense didn't warn him about the incoming man.

"OHMYGODIT'SSPIDER-MAN! ILOVEYOUSOSOSOSOSOSOSOMUCH!"

Peter caught his breath and reared a leg back, aiming it straight at the assailant's chest.

Right before his foot collided, the man managed to grab his ankle and slid it to his side, rushing forward. This left Peter with his legs around the man's hips in a very seductive stance.

" _OOOOOOOO SPIDEY!_ I'm thrilled to meet you like this! You are just my FAVORITE hero!"

Peter, marvelling at both how ridiculous this man was and how vulnerable he felt in this position, wrapped his legs around the man and swung him over the hero's head. 

The costumed man landed in a roll, jumping up and turning around to face the upside-down Peter, who landed in a handstand. Peter pushed himself in the air and twisted, landing in a position that faced the man.

_Holy shit._

" _Why the hell did you do that?!_ "

Peter was practically seething. 

The man faltered slightly before he began to jump up and down on his toes.

"Well, I saw my most favoritist superhero in the world and I just _had_ to see if you were as flexible as they say you are! And let me tell you, Spidey-babe, you _don't_ disappoint! The name's Deadpool, mercenary extraordinaire, at your service!"

The man flicked a fairly worn business card through the air, where Peter quickly snatched it from.

The card read:

"Deadpool  
AKA Wade Wilson  
AKA The Merc with the Mouth  
AKA Your New Boyfriend <3"

Peter stared at the card before glancing back up at the mercenary.

"I'm sorry, all of your cards say this?" Wade shook his head excitedly.

"No no, sweet cheeks! Only yours. I've held onto that for a _long_ time, hoping I'd get the chance to meet you!"

Peter took a deep breath, calming down. This idiot seemed to be more of an overgrown child than a threat. And children can be scolded.

"That was really rude and dumb of you, Wade! I could've killed you! What makes you think tackling Spider-Man mid-run is a good idea? What if you had been hurt?!"

Wade stopped bouncing, his smile dipping slightly.

"I'm sorry, Spidey. I didn't mean to be rude, I've just never seen you up close before! And the thought of finally getting a chance at groping your sweet little bod was too enticing to pass up. But I promise you, sugar plum, I wouldn't have been hurt and you couldn't have killed me. I know what I'm doing when it comes to that."

His tone was a bit dejected. Wade felt bad for upsetting his hero.

Peter suppressed a small smile. 

_Who the hell is this guy? He really is a child!_

"Listen, I'm glad you're okay, but you can't just go tackling me out of nowhere and try to grope me! That's completely disgusting. Next time, just catch my attention and I'll come say 'hi.' Do you understand?"

Wade nodded, looking at his feet as they shuffled in place. 

"Sorry."

Peter nodded. 

"It's nice to meet you, Deadpool." Peter thought for a moment. This guy was pretty funny, and tipped well. He was clearly immature, but that didn't disagree with Peter's desire to take control of situations.

"I have to get to work, but why don't we hang out some time? I'd like to get to know you better."

Wade immediately went from zero to sixty.

"OHMYGOSHYES! I'd love that Spidey-Babe! Let's meet at the top of the Empire State Building, tomorrow night!"

Peter sighed quietly. Tomorrow was his day off. He'd been hoping he could make it in to the Tower to work on his suit tomorrow night, maybe add some new features.

"That... sounds good. Tomorrow night, 1AM. I'll see you around, 'Pool!"

And with that, Peter turned and sprinted off the building, _thwipping_ his way to his second day of work.

_God, I hope I don't get fired._


	3. The Mercenary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter suits down for work, running in just before an elated mercenary comes to tell him all about his magical experience with Spider-Man.

Peter rushed in, sweating. He ran into the back room to set his backpack down, where he met a glaring Weasel.

"Parker. I told you you started at 9. It's 9:10. You gonna make this a habit, comin' in late?"

Peter shook his head, sweat dripping.

"No, sir. I'm sorry. Got distracted by one of those heroes, sir."

Weasel scoffed.

"New York's had supers for years. You've not even been here two days. Show up late again and you can kiss this job goodbye." 

Peter nodded, face flushing red from a combination of exertion and embarrassment.

Peter quickly wiped his face down with a dirty rag as Weasel made his way upstairs. 

A few seconds later, the man walked out the bar, toothy smile on his face as he poured Buck and Boothe their first shots of the night.

"So, pretty boy, what bug crawled up Weasel's ass?"

Peter chuckled at the irony of Boothe's words.

"Nothing much. Just had a run-in with a super, made me late."

Boothe rumbled with laughter, asking which one.

Peter was about to answer when the man himself strode into the bar, a huge smile beneath his red-and-black mask.

"Spider-Man, actually, if you'd believe it." Boothe's eyes widened.

"No shit? I didn't know he came to this part of the city."

Peter nodded, trying to not stare at the mercenary who was now calling out his name.

"Hey! Baby Boy! Can I get a drink _por favor_?"

Peter sighed, pouring Buck and Boothe another shot before he walked down the bar.

"Hey there, Wade! You look happy."

Wade's eyebrows rose.

"You know my name! Have the guys been talking about me?" He shot a sideways glance at the two men who were chatting over their drinks, not paying him or Peter any mind.

_FUCK._

"Oh... yeah, you know. Just heard it mentioned. After all, who wouldn't be curious about the costumed stud that comes here regularly?"

Wade blushed under his mask.

"Mm, Baby Boy, you sure know how to get my motor running. Too bad I have a boyfriend now, or else I might just ask when you get off, so I can help you _get off_ , if you know what I'm saying."

Wade laughed heartily as Peter's cheeks tinged pink. 

"A... new boyfriend? What's his name?" Peter was curious. Deadpool had seemed very flirty with Spider-Man to already have a boyfriend.

"Well, you might know him actually. We just recently started dating. I can't tell you his real name, that's a secret and all, but I can tell you that it rhymes with _Cider-Pan_." He giggled.

Peter's stomach dropped at that. Who had he just gotten involved with?

"Oh. Wow. I didn't know Spider-Man dated... Uh..." He stuttered, not sure how to state his concerns about his alter-ego's dating life. Wade's stomach flipped.

"...Men? Baby Boy, you wound me! I thought you were down with the rainbow, after all our cute banter last night." Peter blushed, rushing to correct him.

"No! That's not what I meant! Um... I meant, I didn't know Spider-Man was dating anyone. He always seems like such a... solitary hero, you know?"

Wade nodded, considering.

"Fair enough, but I assure you, we will be dating soon. He's so dreamy, and already I can tell he digs the 'Pool boy. Death knows I dig his tight little ass, been watching it for quite a while now."

Peter inwardly sighed. 

_Why did I ask him to meet me tomorrow night? He seems like a stalker!_

"...That's nice. Can I get you something to drink?"

Wade nodded fervently.

"Oh, yes please sugar tits! Let's do a _cosmopolitan_ tonight. I'm feeling much gayer than normal." Peter shook his head, chuckling slightly, as he got the man's drink ready.

As Peter was finishing it up, he asked Deadpool a question.

"Why do you always wear that suit? Do you think someone will attack you here?" He eyed the man's katanas shrewdly.

Wade giggled.

"No, nothing like that. I had something of an _accident_ a few years back, when I got my powers. Now I look worse than a moldy avocado making love to Buck's testicles." Peter cringed at the thought.

"I'm sorry about that. Is it really that bad?" He slid the drink over the counter, looking earnestly at Wade's masked eyes.

Wade nodded soberly.

"Yeah, it is. I've sent a lot of cuties screaming and vomiting after they saw my ugly mug. That's actually why I love Spider-Man! He's masked too, so I'm sure we could live happily-ever-after and never have to remove our uniforms in front of each other. At least, not the faces. I def wanna dig my mouth into his delectable peach."

Peter blushed again. This guy was unstoppable when it came to embarrassing him and his alter-ego.

"I'm... sure Spider-Man, of all people, wouldn't care about how you look. After all, he's Spider-Man! What kind of hero would he be if he let small stuff like looks bother him?"

Wade chuckled darkly.

"Baby Boy, your optimism and naivety is astounding. You really are something else. But I know what I look like, and I know that it would destroy me if my hero ran away from my fugly face or bod." Peter took a moment to think, not wanting to upset the heavily-armed man.

"I think you should give him a chance. He just might surprise you."

And with that, Peter went back to tending to the other patrons while Wade pondered the barkeep's words. 

_What if he's right? Spidey is a real hero, after all. The realest hero this world has._

_~Don't let this twink kid you, Wade. You're nothing, and you know it. That's why you wear my suit all day long! Cause you know that even your cute personality can't make up for your face.~_

_You're a dick, DP._

Wade sat for the rest of the night, sipping off the steady stream of cosmos Peter sent his way whenever the merc's glass ran empty.

Finally, once again at last call, Wade stood up slightly shakily to leave. He left another hefty tip, this time sitting in a roll inside his 12th cosmo glass for his wise bartender. He had left a special little note for Weasel with this one.

Just as he made his way to the door, he heard a shout behind him.

"Wade! This is too much!"

He turned to see Peter's cute, hazel eyes looking worried at the roll of bills.

Wade sent him a smile.

"Don't worry about it, hon! After all, you look like you need it. I could hear your stomach growling all night. Take care of yourself, you hear? I need more advice from you!"

With that, Wade took off, not letting Peter get another word in edgewise.

_How the fuck can this guy drop TWO GRAND as a tip for someone he barely knows? And... this is a warning for my boss, to not take this money. He won't like that._

Weasel, after seeing the note from Deadpool, was surprisingly eager to let Peter take the $2,000 for himself. He still took half of the rest of the tips, but refused to take half of DP's.

Peter handed him $200, half of what he had earned from other customers, and left the bar.

Looks like he could pay rent this week after all.


	4. The Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man webs his way to the top of the Empire State Building at 1 in the morning. Will he regret meeting this merc?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey lovies. Sorry for taking time to post. I have been battling depression recently which is uber fun. But, on the plus side, I ordered a set of pencils and pens so that I can practice sketching scenes from these fanfics to post for y'all. I can't make any promises, but I am very grateful to cinderella for this prompt. Thanks bb!

Peter's chest was tight as he swung across the city. He was nervous to meet the masked merc again after what had happened yesterday.

Peter himself was quickly taking a liking to the man, but Spider-Man wasn't a fan of being tackled on his way to work, nor was he particularly excited at the thought of how long this man had been watching him. Had it simply been over the television, or more?

He had also done some research on Deadpool during the day, and was not at all happy with the results he had found.

 _"Masked_ _Mercenary Slaughters Cartel"_

_"Red-and-Black Demon Seen Carving His Way Through New York's Most Secure Prison"_

_"Anti-Hero Takes Restaurant Owner Hostage After Refused Service"_

He wasn't happy at all.

But it wasn't in Peter's nature to judge others without giving them a chance to defend themselves. And it certainly wasn't Spider-Man's instincts that believed in these sensationalized stories told by groups like the _Daily Bugle_. 

After all, Spider-Man had plenty of experience with bad press from similar (or, frankly, the exact same) groups.

So here Peter was, webbing his way up the Empire State Building at 12:55am. He hoped it wasn't a mistake, but wanted to give this supposed "Anti-Hero" the benefit of the doubt.

After all, how dangerous could this overgrown child be?

Peter and Spider-Man both would soon learn to doubt any instincts as they related to this man.

...

A few minutes later, Spider-Man flipped elegantly over the bars that surrounded the rooftop of the Empire State Building. He panted slightly, since scaling the sheer height of the impressive building was enough to leave him somewhat tired. The hunger in his belly also made him shudder.

And there was Deadpool. He had a picnic blanket with candles on top and a basket of food as well. 

_Food._

"SPIDEY! I wasn't sure you'd come! Please, come sit your delectable ass down right here." He patted the empty space next to him on the picnic blanket.

Peter, still slowing his breath, cautiously walked over to the man to sit down. He waited for his Spidey-Sense to go off, ringing, letting him know he was in danger and needed to leave immediately.

It never came.

So, Peter sat down, sweating a little under his uniform as Deadpool squealed and started unpacking the basket. Inside were energy drinks, chips, crackers, beef jerky, and a container full of chocolate chip pancakes. 

Peter looked longingly at the food, under his mask. Even though Deadpool had been incredibly generous with his tips recently, Peter had used the money to make sure he paid his rent, electricity, water, wifi, and part of his thousands of dollars of loans. Every dollar he paid off now was two dollars he wouldn't have to pay in the future. He'd also stopped by the grocery store to pick up supplies for his neighbors who he knew struggled with finances.

Wade seemed to notice the longing in Peter's eyes, even though they were hid by his mask.

"Dig in, Spidey-Babe! I brought this all for you!"

Wade picked up an energy drink, slid his mask up as little as necessary so his lips could reach the can, and chugged it, staring at Spider-Man the whole time, waiting for the hero to notice his skin and bolt. Peter never noticed, he was so hungry.

_Well, if he insists._

And with that, Peter started munching down on the very nutrition-absent food. But, being as hungry as he was, all he desired were the calories needed to get him home for the night and hopefully leave him full enough to not fall asleep starving.

If there were a bad side to being Spider-Man (besides the constant beatings and responsibility towards a city that often seemed like it didn't care about him), it was the fact that his metabolism was super high and his wallet was constantly low. 

Patrolling for the city meant he couldn't work any jobs that went past 8pm, until he broke that rule for Sister Margaret's. Since he had to balance classes with work, he felt blessed to have gotten in to Stark Industries' Paid Internship Program (SIPIP). He knew he had gotten in because of his personal connections to Tony, but he wasn't about to turn down the paycheck that came with the position.

Between working with Weasel, working at the SIPIP, finishing his third year in college, and patrolling as Spider-Man, Peter didn't exactly have a ton of time to himself. All money he earned went towards rent and the other utilities in his tiny apartment, which even with two jobs now he barely had enough left over to eat the amount of food a normal person would require.

So here he was, at 1am in the morning, munching down hard on beef jerky, chips, and crackers. He knew energy drinks left him hungrier than he should feel, so he avoided them all together. It was basically super-human for him to wake up when he does every morning. Between a lack of food and a lack of sleep, he should be an absolute wreck. 

Thank God for that radioactive spider, right?

Deadpool couldn't help but notice the desperation with which his idol munched down the food on. Spider-Man had always seemed so perfect, so well-organized. But watching him now, presented with something that might pass for food, Wade realized how hard it might be for the hero.

"Spidey?"

Peter's chest fell as he was munching on two beef jerky sticks at the same time.

"Um.... yeah?"

Wade looked at him, worry crossing his face.

"Do you get enough food?"

Neither Peter nor Spider-Man had a response to this. Before Aunt May knew he was Spider-Man, she had always cooked meals for two average people rather than one person and a superhero with a super-metabolism. Once he had confessed his duty to her and they moved in with Tony, Peter had finally gotten the chance to eat as much as he could take. Those were the best years for him - a supportive family waiting for him to return, a father ready to help him if he needed it, and a full belly so that he could fight crime to the best of his ability.

Then both his aunt and his new dad died. And he was alone, again. 

Pepper had offered to take him in, but Peter had turned her down. She was too focused on caring for herself and Morgan, which Peter would never dare to blame her for. And Happy had abandoned all other duties so he could help them through this awful, difficult, gut-wrenching time.

And Peter was left alone.

He snapped back to the roof, with Deadpool staring at him expectantly.

"I... eat enough."

Wade frowned under his mask.

"I don't believe you."

Peter frowned too, stopping himself from cramming more jerky and chips down his throat now that he was beginning to satiate his hunger.

"That's fine, DP. I don't need your belief. If me going hungry means that the people in my neighborhood don't go to bed hungry, then that's all the satisfaction I need."

Deadpool's expression hardened.

"That's ridiculous. Why would you take care of neighbors before taking care of yourself? How can you best help them if you aren't in your best position to do so?"

If Peter's neighbors were lacking food, they would waken to find a bag full of filling groceries the next morning, if he had the capability to provide for them.

He thought for a long minute before responding.

"The innocents in my life, the people without super-powers, deserve as much as I can give them. If they are safe from Lizard or the Green Goblin but are starving at the same time, what good am I to them? So long as my people are good, I am good. I can take a few nights going hungry if it means they don't. They weren't blessed with what I was."

Wade's mood instantly turned sour at Spider-Man's comment.

"That's unacceptable."

Peter stared at him, lowering his mask softly to watch this mercenary without his lips dangling helplessly.

"How could you consider yourself blessed if you feel a responsibility to ensure everyone's safety... except yours? So what if they go to bed hungry? They are their own humans and make their own choices. But because you were given super-powers, that means you need to go to bed hungry so some random neighbors don't? That's fucking ridiculous."

Wade was getting really pissed off. Peter started to feel the emergence of guilt in his core.

"After all, them needing your help to eat is like me needing your help to survive. It is possible without you. To be fair, it would be easier if you were available and present. But if you are starving yourself so that you aren't at your best, then what good does your presence do?"

He stood up, walking to the bars. Peter's heart (but not his Spidey-Senses) raced when Deadpool swiftly used his katanas to cut away a section of the bars bordering the roof of the impressively tall building.

Wade turned to Spider-Man, who was currently standing, worried for the mercenary.

"If you aren't at your best, how can you call yourself a super-hero? If you know that you could be better, and choose not to, then why should I aspire to be you? It doesn't make sense."

With that, Wade lobbed Bea (his right-hand katana) at Spider-Man as he leapt off the roof.

Peter easily dodged the blade, but realized what was truly happening.

"WADE!!" 

He dove towards the edge of the building, watching the merc's body plummet towards the concrete below.

Spider-Man leapt over the edge, hurtling towards the man as fast as he could. His better posture and slimmer body let him quickly catch up to the man. They only had a few seconds before hitting the ground.

It was impressive. The webs Spider-Man managed to create to catch the suicidal mercenary were both elaborate and secure. When Wade hit them, he fell until he was nearly a foot above the concrete, not having been crushed to pulp.

A few quick swipes of Arthur (his left hand katana) later, and he was stalking away from the building.

"Wade! Please wait!"

Deadpool was in no mood.

"Just deliver Bea to the bar mentioned on the note, Spidey. I need to cool off, or else I might hurt you."

And with that, Wade started sprinting away. Peter figured the man must mean the sword thrown at him, so he stared at the figure as it disappeared down an alley.

"Sorry."

With that, he got rid of his webbing and made his way back up to the top of the building, grabbing the katana before making his way home. He was shocked to find $300 taped around the handle, along with a note. 

_This is for you and ONLY you to eat, nothing more. Take Bea to Sister Margaret's Home for Wayward Girls and leave it with the bartender. After that, fuck off and eat some real god-damned food!_

_What the actual fuck?_

That was all Peter could think, as he pulled Bea out of the building.


	5. The Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter tries to shove his guilt down as Wade unloads on him about Spider-Man, not realizing he's talking to his hero crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I've gotten so many comments in the past few days that I'm really inspired to write tonight! I love love love the comments, and I will continue to write so long as I have them for motivation.  
> People who I'm hella appreciating right now for their recent comments: SnowFlakeWrites, CodedDragon, Huong96, and RekirNoir. Y'all have really made my day. Bless.

Peter trudged into work the next day, exhausted and just about ready to curl up on the ground and cry.

He failed his most recent midterm because of an attack by Venom when he was supposed to be cramming, and worrying about the test meant there was more destruction than usual. The _Daily Bugle_ had reveled in the aftermath, jumping on the chance to criticize Spider-Man for causing said destruction. He got shouted at by his manager at the SIPIP because of his shoddy and incomplete work. Even tonight, he'd almost let a woman fall to her death because he'd been so distracted thinking about his conversation with Wade. He hadn't expected that level of responsibility or disappointment from the mercenary.

Suffice it to say, Peter was done. If he weren't a super, he doubt he'd be able to even move at this point. He walked up to the door to the back room, seeing on his phone that it was 8:59pm. 

_At least I'm on time._

He walked in the back room to find a very irritated Weasel. 

"You showed up. I wasn't sure you would."

Peter looked down shamefully.

"Well, I'm here."

"I guess. Listen, a crowd of bikers got into a fistfight earlier today and destroyed all the tables and chairs at the far end of the bar. I need you to clean up the fragments and then move the replacements into place."

He gestured behind him, where the replacement tables and chairs sat folded up.

"Get it done before you leave. And while you're at it, you may as well give the place a deep clean tonight. Fully sweeping and mopping, wiping any old blood off our cushions and walls and the like. I don't want any excuses - get it done. If this bar isn't shiny and the tables aren't set up by open tomorrow, don't bother coming back."

Peter nodded, collapsing internally. Clearly this would be a perfect end to a perfect day.

A few minutes later, Peter was out at the bar, dealing with crowds that were more raucous than normal. Terrific. He had Deadpool's katana wrapped up in a sheet in the back. Hopefully he saw Wade tonight. Even if he was just Peter, and couldn't apologize as Spider-Man.

He sighed heavily as he served shot after shot after shot. These men loved their Blow Jobs, which were on sale tonight. 3 of them for $6.90.

He tried to put on the best smile he could, but after the day he'd had, he wasn't sure he could make it through the night.

That is, until a familiar red-and-black masked figure sat at the bar, shoving a drunk hitman out of the way.

"Hey barkeep! Let's do the special!"

Peter saw the man, and his heart leapt.

"Coming right up!"

He did his best to rush through the crowd of drunken men and women, finally getting a chance to make his way to Deadpool's end of the bar.

"It's nice to see you, Wade. How are you?"

Wade looked at the boy soberly.

"Gotta admit, kiddo, I've been better. I don't think even your sweet face could help me."

Peter's heart lurched in his chest.

"What... what happened?"

Wade sighed.

"You don't even know, Baby Boy. It's Spider-Man."

Peter gulped as he waited for Wade to continue, trying to not look suspicious.

"What about Spider-Man?"

"It's... he... I don't... I don't even know how to verbalize it. He's not taking care of himself, and it's killing me. I'm sure you're familiar with superheroes, and how self-sacrificing they tend to be. But he just goes so far above and beyond what's reasonable, even for the most over-zealous supers."

_~He's referring to the now-deceased Steve Rogers, for those of you not paying attention.~_

Peter looked at the man worriedly.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong... but doesn't Spider-Man tend to do those sorts of things? Take care of the people around him before himself?"

Wade scowled.

"You can stop that right now, Petey-Pie. I'm already pissed off at my boyfriend-slash-favorite-superhero, I don't need to be pissed at my favorite bartender-slash-best-friend too."

Peter's heart soared at hearing the affection in Wade's voice, even with it being stearn and short.

Wade gestured to get some more drinks. Peter poured him the standard for tonight - Blow Jobs.

Wade's mood picked up upon seeing the six glasses before him.

"Petey! I didn't know you wanted to give me blow jobs this badly!"

Peter chuckled, albeit slightly awkwardly.

"I figured you'd like them. I picked them as the special tonight. Am I wrong to think that you enjoy a good Blow Job every now and then?"

Wade chortled, blushing under his mask. His previous darkened mood was uplifted.

"Oh Baby Boy, I'd accept anything you sent my way. Are all of these for me?"

Peter bit his bottom lip, widening his eyes to entice the mercenary. If he couldn't make the man feel good when he was Spider-Man, at least he could do it when he was Peter.

"I figured I'd take them right alongside you. Help me get through this shit day a bit quicker."

Wade frowned slightly, wondering what happened to the boy. But he quickly tossed that aside as Peter picked up his first drink.

Wade rolled his mask up slightly, grinning at the twink.

Peter's eyes glanced over Wade's mouth, eyes narrowing slightly before remembering that Wade was self-conscious about it. If he was being honest, he didn't really think the skin was all that damaged. It looked raw, maybe severely burned, but the ridges emphasizing the way his lips curled...

Peter snapped out of his daydreaming as Wade clinked his first Blow Job against Peter's.

"Cheers, Baby Boy. To life everlasting and the holy maiden Death!"

They both took the drinks down like champs. Both of their healing factors meant that alcohol had a limited effect on them unless they drank in severe quantities. Wade being Wade, he was very experienced at drinking enough alcohol to kill an elephant before passing out. Peter had only binged a few times, choosing to limit his consumption of something that could keep him out of a fight if the city was threatened.

Peter sighed and looked at Wade.

"Race to the finish?"

Wade grinned, forgetting for a moment that his mask wasn't on. Peter didn't know this, but he was the first to see Wade's real smile in person in a long time. Not since Vanessa had passed.

"You got it, sugar plum." At that, Wade was knocking back his next Blow Job, Peter rushing to swallow his.

They both slammed their second drinks down at the same time, gasping slightly. Air was not important when racing to take shots.

Peter thought he could feel the slightest of buzzes _maybe_ circulating from his belly, but it was so slight to be worthless. Wade was in a similar situation.

"Well, Baby Boy, I know you have other people to serve tonight. Why don't you just pick me up a bottle of vodka and I'll sit here looking after you?"

Peter fought the oncoming blush and nodded. He was grateful that Wade reminded him that he was actually on the job right now.

He pulled a bottle of Grey Goose out onto the counter for the merc, giving him a cheery nod as he went to serve the other rowdy patrons.

...

Even at last call, there were still quite a few folks in the bar. Peter wasn't sure why they had decided to pack it tonight, but here he was, 30 minutes after last call, waiting for the last couple of bikers to carry their drunken (and vomiting, which was awesome) friend out of the bar.

Wade was still glued to his seat, sipping quietly on the vodka. The light buzz was a nice feeling for the merc. Quieted the voices a touch.

Peter started collecting shot glasses and beer bottles, beginning the very lengthy several hours he'd have to spend thoroughly cleaning this place. Normally Weasel cleaned when he got up in the morning, with Peter taking on busy night shifts that the older man was tired of working. Evidently, he hadn't wanted to clean up after the shitheads that had smashed his tables.

As Peter finished collecting all salvageable and recyclable glassware, he began picking up the large pieces of broken table. He found himself with no time during his shift to actually clean up the shards, and so here he was, trying not to be grossed out at the mysterious liquid his hands were now soaked in, when he felt a presence behind him.

Wade had been perfectly content to enjoy watching the boy's lithe body as he cleaned up the bar, walking back and forth to collect glasses and bottles. However, he saw that Peter looked about ready to collapse and still had a ton of cleaning to do. So here he was, helping Peter carry the shattered remnants of the tables out to the dumpster.

Peter didn't say anything when Wade helping him, but the older man noticed a change in the younger one's energy levels. Hopefully he was helping.

Two hours later, and the bar was _fucking spotless, thank you very much._

With Wade's silent help, Peter was able to do four hours' worth of sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, and general cleaning in half the time.

He sat down at the bar, proud of the work he and Wade had accomplished. He soon realized that sitting was a bad idea, since he set his head down for a quick second on the bar and was soon snoring peacefully.

Wade saw Peter fall asleep practically instantly. Considering it was almost 7 in the morning, he wasn't surprised at how exhausted the younger guy was. He sat down next to the boy and lightly shook his shoulder.

"No... Sleep..."

Wade frowned. He poked Peter's cheek roughly a few times. The man was out like a light.

_Fuck._

_~Just go home. He'll be fine.~_

_Absolutely not! He'll just have to come home with us._

And with that, Wade threw the snoring boy over his shoulder, collected his backpack and his katana _(Bea! Yay! At least Spider-Man got to see Peter, hopefully. They would get along.)_ from the back room, and left the pretty damn spotless bar, locking the door with one of Peter's keys he found in the front pocket of the backpack. It was surprisingly heavy, given how light the boy was to him.

" _Aaaaaaand weeeeeeeee're off to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz..._ " Wade continued singing loudly as he carried Peter to his closest safe house. 

He had practically forgotten about the hurt Spider-Man had left him in.


	6. The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up in a strange place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thanking all the adorable people writing me comments and making my day better! I'm not kidding, my day gets so much better every time I see a new comment. Thanks.
> 
> Repeat Commenters Who I Love: SnowFlakeWrites, CodedDragon  
> New Commenters Who I Love: Lily, Queen_Amya, World_Class_Izzy.  
> Thanks for the support! Just lmk if you don't like the commenter call-outs, it's just you folks are really driving me to continue writing!
> 
> Also, a new bit of news. I finally got my shipment of art supplies, and since this quarantine is me having way too much time on my hands, I've taken to drawing my own fanart for my stories! I don't claim to be good, like at all, but that doesn't matter to me. All I care is that I'm having fun drawing, and I want you to get the chance to look if you care.
> 
> XOXO

[Link to a Google Doc with my Image!!!!!!!!!](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NBlBcCF785ggUFNcEaiz09a3MMguXe7jOPHbI72Nm-Y/edit?usp=sharing)

Peter groaned, turning on the very comfortable surface he was on.

Wait. 

_Didn't I fall asleep in the bar? I don't remember walking home..._

He opened his eyes slowly, making sure he wasn't tied up. He was in a bedroom, lying in a bed with a My Little Pony comforter. Stickers of Deadpool and Spiderman littered the walls. Posted to one wall was an amateur but adorable drawing of Deadpool and Spider-Man holding hands. He figured he had to be in Wade's apartment.

_Wouldn't say he has talent, but it's really adorable!_

Peter was glad he was alone, and also glad to see his backpack to the right of the bed, on the ground. It looked unopened, so hopefully Deadpool hadn't seen the silver box that contained his uniform.

Peter stretched lazily, enjoying the warmth and softness of the sheets. It seemed like he had slept here by himself, and had all his clothes on except for his shoes. There was a fresh change of clothes resting on the ground next to his backpack, which Peter was glad to see. He smelled like sweat, blood, soap, and other generally nasty bar-related smells.

Once he had gotten out of bed and changed into the fresh clothes, he shoved his clothes into his backpack and slipped it on his back. He blushed at the thought of seeing Wade, since the man had left a pair of Spider-Man briefs that were just a bit too tight for Peter's liking.

Peter opened the door slowly. 

_Oh God._

It smelled amazing. 

Pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage... It all molested his nose and he was glad for it.

He opened the door and slipped out, closing it. Maybe he could sneak out of here?

Wade had evidently thought of that, since when Peter had fully stepped out into the hall, he tripped on a string and rang a bell that was hanging above his head.

Deadpool leaned over from the kitchen, looking into the hallway.

"Peter! You're awake! Come, eat with me darling!"

Peter took slow, hesitant steps towards the kitchen. Deadpool had been wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty apron, which, oddly enough, didn't really clash with his outfit.

Peter walked through the door into the kitchen, hunger in his eyes as he stared at all the food on the kitchen table.

Wade looked up at him, as the older man finished plating the freshly-made pancakes.

"Dig in!"

Peter shook his head slowly, backing up.

"I don't think I should. You've already done too much for me, making sure I stayed safe last night. I don't want to impose further."

Wade clucked his tongue.

"Young man, you sit down and eat or I will make you! I heard how much your stomach rumbled as I carried you here, and you look paler than a Swede in space. Sit your butt down and eat."

Peter's chest rolled. He sometimes liked being told what to do, he sometimes liked telling people what to do. Right now, his submissive side rose to the surface. He nodded slightly, blushing at the man's words, and sat down across from the mercenary.

It was quiet as Peter ate. He tried to not stuff his face as fast as possible, because _it was fucking delicious_ and he felt he could gorge himself on everything on the table. He glanced up at Wade, who was staring at him, white eyes smiling.

"What's cookin', good lookin'? Like it?"

Peter nodded happily, trying to contain his enthusiasm and come to terms with the fact that he'd have to stop soon so the man didn't realize that Peter had an abnormal metabolism.

"It's amazing! Did you already eat?"

Wade chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine. I don't want you throwing up at the sight of me!"

Peter's silverware clacked down on the ceramic plate, his face slightly downturned.

"You made this, all on your own, for me, with your hard-earned money and food. You let me sleep in your bed last night. Made sure I didn't have to get woken up by a screaming Weasel and face a cranked neck all day long. If you aren't eating, then neither am I."

He sat back in his chair, crossing his arms.

Deadpool scowled.

"You know, you're awfully demanding for someone who is supposedly appreciating everything I've done for him. And I didn't do any of that so I could earn favors from you, so you can't leverage them against me. I did those things because I like you."

He took a minute to think, clearly not convincing the boy. His expression softened.

"Look Baby Boy. I promise you, you'll lose all appetite at seeing my fugly mug. And I wouldn't want to do that to you. I couldn't..."

_I couldn't stand it if you looked at me like others did. With disgust, hatred, revulsion._

Peter uncrossed his arms and sat forward.

"You couldn't what? I've already seen your lips, Wade. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I've seen a lot worse than what you think is bad. So roll up your mask if you won't fully take it off and eat, or I'll walk out of here right now."

Wade wanted to fight and argue and get his way, but the look on Peter's face was stearn and commanding. Wade's crotch lit up as he felt the man's disapproving look judge him for being stupid and immature and self-conscious.

"Okay, honeybuns. I'll eat. But you can't blame me if you throw up because of it."

With that, Peter watched the man intently as he rolled up his mask, revealing his damaged skin.

"Good. Now let's eat, 'Pool."

Peter dug into his food. Wade stopped for a second while piling eggs on his plate. Something bothered him. He felt a memory trying to surface, but couldn't recall it over White and Yellow's bickering. 

_Oh well, probably not that important._

_~Aren't they just adorable? I can't wait to see dummy and his boy toy get it ON.~_

The two men ate in silence, Peter back to his dilemma of trying not to eat everything on the table.

After a half-hour of intense eating, the two men leaned back and sighed, happy. In truth, neither was really all that full, even with the buffet-amount of food that Wade had made, but they both pretended to be full for the others' sake.

Peter stood up slowly, grabbing his backpack. He was still a little peaky, but he wouldn't starve his way through the day like he often did nowadays. 

"Thank you for the meal, Wade. And thank you for helping me clean the bar last night. And for letting me sleep here, in your bed. I hope whatever you slept on was comfortable."

Wade chuckled slightly under his now-rolled-down-again mask. He had spent the night furiously cleaning his apartment so that Peter could wake up to something resembling a liveable household. Truth was, the man was exhausted.

"It was perfectly fine, Baby Boy. I hope you have a great day. Feel free to stop by any time! Maybe except when Spidey and I are here and _gettin' it on._ Unless you wanna join, which would be totes fine by me."

Peter blushed, trying not to think of himself kissing... himself. Wow. Fun times. 

_Hold on._

"Wade, didn't you say last night that you're mad at Spider-Man? Or something along those lines?"

Deadpool sighed, shrugging.

"Not anymore, I guess. I've thought about it, and if he can't take care of himself properly, then I'll have to do it for him. Gotta take care of the ones you love, you know? No matter how annoying they can be."

Peter's stomach dropped. It felt like his heart stopped, hands and feet turning icy cold.

"You... love... Spider-Man?"

Wade took a moment to think.

"I think so, Petey. You don't understand - when the love of my life died because of my job, there was absolutely nothing that made me care about this world or anyone in it. Then, throw in a Snap taking everyone but Weasel out of my life, and you have a recipe for a bag of ground beef that can hardly get off the couch to piss."

Peter's nose crinkled at the thought. Wade laughed at the cute way that happened.

"So anyway, I didn't care about nothing and no-one. And then I saw him, swinging through the streets above my head, the cutest smile you've ever seen under a mask. And an ass you could bounce a nickel off of. I did my research, and learned about him. Spider-Man. The most heroic hero I'd heard of. He stepped up to help the police keep the devastated rioters calm after the Snap, refusing to hurt even people who waved guns in his face. I would've shot them dead. But he... didn't. He cared. Like a hero should. Not like those fancy pricks in their Tower. A true hero."

Wade smiled, thinking of the first time he saw Spider-Man. He could still hear his whoop of laughter as the hero had _thwipped_ his way through the streets.

"So, I love him. And now we're dating! It's very exciting."

Peter was trying to stop himself from shaking. He thought Wade was great, but neither he nor Spider-Man were in love with him. And, if he was being honest, this didn't sound like love to Peter. It sounded like hero worship. And he hadn't even said as Spider-Man that he would date Deadpool!

Not that he wouldn't, but he certainly hadn't said 'yes' yet.

"That's... I'm sorry, Wade. And I'm... glad he makes you happy. I really gotta get going for my classes, but I think you should tell Spider-Man this. After all, it doesn't sound like you've been dating for too long, and I think he's the kind of guy who would appreciate hearing this for himself."

Wade considered this and nodded slowly. Peter smiled, and headed towards the door.

"Thanks again, Wade! I'll see you around."

And with that, Peter left. 

Wade would later find a phone number written on a post-it note, sitting on top of his My Little Pony sheets, and would subsequently leap with joy before leaping into bed to masturbate.

After all, so long as he didn't actually _do_ anything with Peter, just thinking about the boy was harmless. His eyes were still heart-shaped for Spidey. 

He scoffed at White, who was suggesting that Peter might be better for him than Spider-Man. Those voices never had anything good to say.

As he orgasmed, spilling his seed all over his uniform's top, he pictured Peter sitting on his face while Spidey fucked his ass. 

_Lady Death, PLEASE make this happen_


	7. The Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spider-Man finds Deadpool, and they have a heart-to-heart. Much hearts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so literally I posted my drawing for the last chapter and needed a certain word count to post the link, and two people asked about the chapter as I was writing it! This just absolutely made my heart soar and I'm so glad someone else is enjoying both the story and the art!
> 
> Special thanks to Vsten and Cfps3000 for the kind comments. This additional chapter posted tonight is dedicated to you two!

Peter couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he swung through the streets of New York. Wade had been so kind, he was such a good soul. 

Spider-Man hoped he could find Wade tonight. The breakfast given to Peter this morning had given him the energy to patrol tonight and save a man from being raped. He would apologize, and promise to Wade that he would take better care of himself.

He also wanted Wade to tell him what he told Peter, so that Spider-Man could maybe slow the lovable mercenary's roll just a touch, since he hadn't even agreed to date the man yet, and certainly wasn't in love.

Not yet, at least.

Peter landed on a rooftop, trying to listen to the sounds of the city for any screaming or cries for help. He heard nothing of the sort.

What he did hear was a familiar rendering of the song in the Wizard of Oz. 

He flung himself off the rooftop and towards the singing, trying to find Wade, if it was him.

It was. 

Deadpool was sprinting across rooftops and leaping over spaces between buildings, trying to catch up to a man evidently trying to get away from him. He sang the Wizard of Oz song as he chased the man gleefully. 

Peter smirked as he sent a well-timed web that put the man off his balance and left him collapsing, sliding to a stop.

Deadpool didn't even look back, continuing to run at the man full-speed.

He brandished Bea and looked ready to stab the man violently, which Peter saw.

He sent a web out to yank Bea out of the mercenary's hand and let it clatter on the rooftop, webbed down.

Deadpool stood over the man, not even turning around as he started preparing Arthur to taste the man's blood. He had stopped singing when he felt the sword be taken from him.

"Back off, Spidey. I got a job to do." 

Peter once again snatched the blade out of the merc's hand, this time grabbing it himself and quickly webbing it to the roof next to Bea.

Deadpool turned and leapt at the hero, fists going straight for his head. Peter rolled out of the way, falling right into Deadpool's knee.

Peter gasped, clutching his stomach as the merc first slammed his knee into the hero and then using a hand to bring him down to the roof, clutching the boy's throat.

"Listen here, Spider-Man. Wade may think you're all that, but I don't care for you. You are rude, self-deprecating, and give him more stress than relief. I could forgive those cause he's a pussy, but don't you dare mess with my fucking job. Do you hear me?"

He started squeezing Peter's throat, making his head pound.

The adrenaline and super-strength gave him that burst of energy needed to throw the mercenary off of him as he gasped for breath.

He leapt up, panting, staring daggers at the merc.

Deadpool tried getting up, but Spider-Man lobbed enough webbing to stop a rhino in its' tracks. The boy got his breathing back under control as he walked over to the criminal, webbing him up and leaving him down in the street below for the cops to come pick up. 

He wasn't sure exactly what the guy had done, but knowing Deadpool's reputation for going after the worst of the worst, it was a safe bet that this man was probably a criminal.

After he sorted that guy out, police on the way, he turned to look at Deadpool.

The mercenary was silent, glaring at Spider-Man.

Peter cleared his throat. Fuck.

"Wade. Talk to me."

Deadpool stared, silent. This was the first time Peter had really ever seen the merc not talk.

"Wade, get back in control and _talk to me_."

Silence.

Peter sighed. He hoped Wade wouldn't be too pissed off at him for what he was about to do.

He walked over to Deadpool, who was stuck leaning up against the ledge on the roof. He bent down to be eye-level with the mercenary, and reached for the bottom edge of Deadpool's mask.

" _Take it off and I slit your fucking throat._ "

Peter didn't even blink.

"Sorry, 'Pool. I need to talk to Wade.

Deadpool struggled and shouted profanities as Peter hooked his gloved fingers under the edge of the man's mask, rolling it up.

He stopped rolling it up at the nose, leaving the rest alone.

" _What?! You too fucking **pussy** to do it all the way?! I'll still gut you like a fish, Spider-Man._"

Peter sighed and started to roll up his mask. He stopped at the nose as well.

Deadpool seemed to calm slightly, but was still confused and angry at what was going on.

Peter took a deep breath, and leaned forward.

He collided his lips against Wade's, the older man shocked back into control. Peter's lips were soft and smooth and plump, and moved across Wade's much rougher lips in such a way that the man quickly got a painful erection.

Wade took a moment before kissing back, sucking on Spider-Man's lips and working his tongue into the hero's mouth.

Peter graciously accepted the tongue and moaned, curling over it with his own tongue. 

They sat like this for a minute before Peter pulled back, making Wade whine. 

Peter gasped, his face flush and his erection straining against his cup.

He slid his mask back down, and sat on the ground, facing Wade, who looked like he was still recovering from the shock of what just happened.

"Uhhhhhhh... Spidey? What was that?"

Peter sighed happily.

"Our first kiss."

Wade blushed.

"Well, damn. If I'd known that the way to seduce you and get you to tie me up was to threaten you, I would've done it a lot sooner!"

Peter wasn't amused at the man's joke.

"Wade, we need to have a conversation. You are stuck here until I decide we're done, so get comfy."

Wade looked at him, licking his lips.

"I guess we can do that, Baby Boy, but I'd appreciate it if you rolled my mask back down."

Peter frowned.

"Will I then be talking with Deadpool again? Or will it still be you?"

Wade shrugged as much as he could in the webbing.

"He is me and I am him. Sometimes he speaks, sometimes I do, sometimes both of us do. But I'll do my best to be the one talking to you and your _fiiiiiiiiiiine_ figure."

Peter nodded before rolling Wade's mask back down.

"So? What didja wanna talk about, Webs?"

Peter sighed, trying to think of where to start.

"First off, we are not dating. Not yet. I want to, but it's gonna take more than you tackling me, you jumping off a building, and you threatening my life before I agree to it."

Wade considered this a moment, nodding in agreement.

"I guess that's fair, but just know that I come with the good and the bad. There is no Wade separate from Deadpool. I'll only say yes to dating you if you can accept that, because otherwise it'll destroy the walls in my mind, letting Deadpool take over much more often."

Peter nodded.

"Second, I do not think you are ugly. When I stopped by the bar to drop off your katana, the bartender asked if I'd hurt your feelings on purpose or was rude about your skin. I told him no, because I couldn't say there's anything inherently wrong with your skin. You don't need to agree with my perspective, but I need you to acknowledge it."

Wade nodded, keeping his self-deprecating jabs on lockdown. His heart also fluttered at the thought of Spider-Man and his Petey-Pie talking about him. 

"Third, and this one is important - I will not date you if you continue to kill unnecessarily. The only situation where it's appropriate is when a life other than yours is at immediate peril, and even then you should try all other options before killing them. All people are people, and deserve a chance to choose to live a better life. They can't make that choice if they're dead."

Wade stopped.

_~Listen to this prick! What a fucking jag-off! Tell him to fuck off!~_

"Webs... That's asking a lot. I lived my whole pre-powers life killing people for money. I've lived my whole costumed life killing people for money. Not only is the money fantastic, but I help this Earth by ridding it of the worst scum imaginable, delivering them to Death's door. It's gonna take a lot of Captain America-level speeches before I would consider it."

Peter sighed and nodded.

He stood up, walking over to Bea Arthur. He used his special technique to cut away the webbing and got the swords. He remembered they were sharp enough to slice through his webbing the other night, so he turned around and used them to free Wade from the webs.

Deadpool leapt up, snatching up Bea Arthur and putting her back in her slots.

"Baby Boy, I'm glad you came and talked to me. I suppose we have a lot to think about, but... I mean... that kiss was THE BEST!"

He leapt up in the air, flinging his arms around Spider-Man's neck.

Peter stood there awkwardly. It'd been a long time since he'd been this close with anyone. The kiss had come from his dominant side, fueling him with confidence and bravado as he set the terms of he and Wade potentially dating. Now, he felt all of that energy rush out of his body, and he was stiff as a board. 

It wasn't the only stiff thing involved in this hug, that's for sure.

Wade finally jumped back, but not before giving a little squeeze to Spider-Man's ass.

"Oh, Baby Boy. If there were anyone I would learn to not kill for, it would be you and those buns of steel. I can't wait for you to suffocate me with them."

Peter blushed under his mask.

"Let's not get too carried away. You'll need to seduce me first. Add some romance to our relationship. Then... we'll see about suffocating you."

Wade lit up.

"Understood, sexy! Also, have the police gotten here yet?"

Peter, curious, took a few steps to the edge of the rooftop. His webbed-up criminal was still wriggling, failing to shout through the web gag.

"Uh, no, not yet. Why?"

Deadpool smiled.

"Well, sugar tits, I _was_ chasing him for a reason. That piece of crap has raped roughly 20 women in the past six months, even impregnating a few. A kind mother of one of these suffering ladies came to me and asked me to wipe his smug mug off the face of the Earth. I'm even doing it for free. So, with that..."

He slipped a small detonator out of his pocket. Peter's Spider-Senses blasted and he tried to web it out of the mercenary's hand before the button could be pressed.

He was milliseconds too late.

With that, Peter heard an explosion rocking him from below. His Spider-Senses died out.

"What did you do, Wade?!"

Deadpool chuckled.

"I did my job, cutie. I tried to tell you - he is me and I am him. I'm glad DP thought of putting explosives in his food earlier tonight."

Peter blanched, not even hazarding a look at the man down below. He heard police sirens as the cars raced towards the explosion.

Wade turned and ran, leaping across rooftops towards the mother who had hired him. He wanted her to sleep a little easier tonight.

Peter just sat down, unable to move any further.

_Why the fuck do I still like this monster?_


	8. The Consolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade and Peter share some drinks and problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: The second half of this chapter is explicit and contains a sexual scene with dubious consent. Everything up to Wade leaving the bar (which I will mark) is plot-related. I will summarize what happens in the description of the next chapter for those who don't want to read the explicit dubious consent. 
> 
> I really appreciate the comment pointing out that I wasn't giving a fair warning for anyone who might not be attracted to or want to read scenes of dubious consent. I apologize for not posting the warning initially, please let me know if there's anything I can continue to do to make sure anyone can read this regardless of sexual tastes and positions on consensuality. 
> 
> I have been on the receiving end of a nonconsensual encounter, and do not feel personally that this chapter is wholly nonconsensual. It absolutely starts off dubiously with no stated consent, but that verbal consent is given relatively shortly into the scene. Again, please let me know if I haven't described this properly, and I hope everyone continues to enjoy the story.
> 
> Finally, I wanted to clarify that anything short of clear, verbal, constant, and freely-given consent is the only type of consent that should determine whether a sexual act should take place. That is my belief for the real world. But this is my world, one where I know the hearts and minds of both men involved, and I know that this falls closer to CNC than true assault. I fully accept those are my personal views and I don't expect anyone to share them, I just wanted to make that clear and let everyone know that things must be so much clearer, verbal, and honest in the real world.
> 
> Sex acts that occur in this chapter: Dubious Consent, Venom is the Safe Word, Harsh Dom Peter, Slapping, Kneeing, Sub Wade, Brutal Fingering, Yes there's lube, Barebacking, Musk, Commanding, Humiliation

Peter stared blankly at nothing in particular. It took the smashing of glass for him to take notice of an angry Buck demanding another beer.

"For fuck's sake, kid! Pay attention."

Peter stalked towards the man, grabbing another chilled beer bottle.

"Smash another glass, and I won't serve you for a week."

Buck scoffed and mumbled something about Weasel while he cracked the lid off.

Peter went back to thinking, after glancing around the quiet bar. He wondered why it was so dead for a Saturday night. Boothe and Buck and a few of the more regular patrons were here, but apart from them it was pretty low-key. He asked Boothe about it, who said that Saturday was a great time for mercenaries to do their hunting, since targets often partied or had deals go down.

Fair enough. Not his problem. He still had that $300 Wade had forced him to take as Spider-Man, hesitating to spend it. Maybe he could stop at a 24-hour mart on the way home and pick up some food.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard the door to the bar open, but it didn't really process until a loud grunt and sigh came from his left, telling him a man had sat down at the counter.

_~I'll give you three guesses as to who it is. And no, it isn't Green Lantern.~_

Peter looked down at Wade, who was uncharacteristically quiet. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, before he walked down the bar.

"Hey Wade. What can I get you?"

Wade was silent before muttering out a quiet little "Everclear."

So it'd be one of those nights.

Peter pulled out the full bottle and got two shot glasses, filling up both and sliding one to Wade.

Wade gave him a questioning eyebrow.

"I'm a bartender. I can handle my drink."

Wade shrugged before sliding his mask up to his nose.

"Cheers, Pete."

Peter clinked his shot glass with Wade's before they both sucked down the disgusting liquid. This definitely let Peter feel at least a faint sense of warmth. A couple more and he might get tipsy. He refilled the shots, but didn't slide Wade's to him yet.

Wade looked at him, waiting.

"Shot for your thoughts."

Wade chuckled.

"Cute."

Peter smirked. "I try."

"Fine. Spidey and I had a fight."

Peter nodded slowly, sliding the shot over. They both slurped them down and Peter refilled.

He held onto Wade's glass, waiting for more sharing.

Wade sighed, relenting to the boy's tactic.

"Last night, I wanted to do what you recommended. Tell Spidey how I feel, why I love and respect him. But then this woman came to my apartment. I honestly have no idea how she got my address, but she had a determined look on her sad, sagging face."

Shot number 3 went down.

"She told me about this perverted mother fucker who had raped her daughter, gotten her pregnant, and left a series of taunting messages on her doorstep. The girl killed herself."

Peter's stomach dropped.

There goes shot number 4.

"The mother begged me to get rid of him. My services are pretty well-known, and so is my price. She offered everything she had, which wasn't a lot. She even offered herself up to try and purchase my services. Needless to say, I took the job for free. _This monster doesn't deserve to live_ , I thought. Look what he did to this woman and her daughter."

Shot number 5. Peter felt slightly tipsy. Wade just kept on going.

"So I tracked the fucker down. His tattoos made him pretty easily identifiable. Fucker was having dinner with a woman who I presumed to be his next victim. I saw him slip something in her glass when she went to the bathroom. So I got in the kitchen, figured out what he'd ordered, and added some... surprises, to make sure I got him."

Shots 6 and 7 went down their throats. It didn't burn any more.

"I watched him leave the restaurant, holding this woman up and taking her to his van. Once he had set her down, it was game on for me. I fired a bullet next to his foot and told him to _run, Forrest, run_. Fucker had a good instinct, you wouldn't believe how many people charge at the heavily-armed immortal mercenary after being given a chance to run."

Shot 8 was no more.

"I chased him after a 30-second head start, giving me time to make sure an ambulance came for the drugged-up woman. He was a quick little rapist, but I'm always faster. He used a good portion of his head start to climb up a fire escape and try to lose me on the rooftops."

Shots 9 and 10 were gone. Peter was definitely buzzed now, and one out of five words Wade said were slightly slurred.

"I chased after him. Almost caught up to him, too, ready to show him some love from Bea Arthur, my lovely ladies who go everywhere with me. I figured it'd be fun to make him eat the offending organ that had ruined so many lives."

Shot 11 down for the count.

"Just as I was about to show him a good time, who of course had to show up - Spider-Man. He took my girls away from me, which... agitated me. When I'm in my hunting mindset, nothing gets between me and my target. I hurt Spidey. Threatened his life. He webbed me down, and kissed me. Took me out of the bloodlust instantly."

Peter nodded, leaning on the counter for support. Shot 12 all done.

"It was nothing short of magical. Then he sat down and we talked. He told me the conditions for use to date - I needed to woo him, I needed to accept that he likes my looks, and I needed to stop killing 'unnecessarily,' as he said. He was telling me this as I could hear that rapist's shouts from down below for help. So I waited. We talked, Spidey let me go, and then... then..."

Shots 13, 14, and 15.

"Then I activated the little surprises I'd put in his food, blowing the fucker up just before the cops arrived. He didn't get a second chance, didn't deserve one. The police would have had no evidence against him. He'd be out in a day, back to his skeeving ways. I don't regret doing it for a second, but... I think Spidey is done with me. I told him I'd work on learning to not kill for him. And then I blew a captured bastard up."

Peter could hear Wade's voice wavering. He had a pretty strong buzz going on right now, things were a little dizzy but not unmanageable.

Peter put the Everclear back and walked over to Buck. He put three beers on the counter, telling the man to hold the fort down for Peter in exchange for half the tip jar. The man grunted as Peter walked over to Wade, who was practically on the edge of sobbing.

He yanked on the man's arm and took him to the back room.

...

**(AN: After this point is the dubious consensual scene. You may skip this and go to the next chapter, where I will give a summary of what happens after this point.)**

...

The minute the door was closed, Peter wrapped his arms around the mercenary, giving him as tight of a hug as he could without using his super-strength.

Wade stood still for a moment, then wrapped his arms around Peter too. They both breathed each other in.

Wade, wearing his Deadpool uniform, smelled like gunpowder, blood, baby powder, fish oil, and a dozen other things that worked together surprisingly well. Peter, wearing a simple black tee for work, smelled like sweat, deodorant, cologne, and laundry detergent. Figures he would only use clean shirts. That's just like Peter.

The hug went on, the men both practically crushing each other in their hugs. 

And that's when Peter's hands started slowly shifting lower on Wade's suit, to his lower back. He stopped moving them down, waiting for some kind of sign to continue. 

Wade let go of his hug and placed his hands on Peter's. He looked at the boy, smiling, and moved his hands onto the mercenary's plump ass.

Peter sighed, smiling, as he started squeezing Wade's cheeks. They were in great shape, very firm and bouncy.

Peter leaned up to Wade's neck, stepping on his tip-toes, and started nuzzling the mercenary.

Wade moaned.

"Take off your mask."

Wade stopped moaning.

"Uh... what was that?"

Peter stopped massaging the man's ass, instead resting his hands on Wade's hips.

"You heard me. Take off your mask. And your weapons. I'll take your suit off for you."

Wade frowned.

"Uh... Petey... are you sure? I'm... I mean, you've seen my skin. I look like that _all over_. It's been years since anyone's even seen me like that..."

Peter frowned. He brought his right hand up and slapped the man on his right cheek with just a _touch_ of super strength. Wade hadn't been expecting that and yelped, clutching his cheek.

"I wasn't asking. Take off your mask and weapons. Question me again, and you'll get more than a light slap."

Seeing as how Wade's cheek now felt hot from the blood rushing to it, his dick swelling in his pants, he nodded silently.

He wormed his fingers under his mask and curled them, pulling it up and over his head.

He threw the mask to the ground, staring at his feet, waiting for Peter to gasp or throw up.

"I believe I told you to also take off your weapons. Didn't I?"

Wade was silent, blushing furiously.

"Uh... I guess..."

Peter clucked his tongue. He brought back his left hand and gave Wade another slap.

"That was for your pathetic answer."

He slapped him again with his right hand, harder this time.

"That was for not calling me Sir."

He placed his hands on Wade's shoulders, and brought the man down to eye level so Peter could bring his knee up, hitting the merc right in the spot to knock the air out of him. Wade gasped, clutching his stomach as his face burned from both pain and embarrassment.

"And _that_ was for not following my command."

Wade fell to the ground, clutching his stomach. He did his best to breathe in and out.

"So, I'll ask you one more time."

Peter put his hand on the back of Wade's head and pushed him to the ground, so he was basically in a worship position. Then the younger man placed his right foot on Wade's head, applying just enough pressure to really make the man feel it.

"Didn't I also tell you to take off your weapons?"

Wade's head hurt from the pressure. His lungs were still trying to take deep breaths. His groin was on fire, his dick as hard as he could ever remember it being. Even with Vanessa.

"Yes, Sir, you told me to take off my weapons." Peter smirked, taking his shoe off the submissive's head.

"That's right. Now get. It. Done." 

Wade made a small mewl for an affirmative answer. 

Peter stood back and watched Wade slowly stand up, catching his breath as he started all the various belts, buckles, and straps that kept all holsters securely attached to his body.

Finally, after creating a good-sized pile with his swords, guns, bombs, grenades, knives, and sporks, Peter nodded approvingly. Crowning the pile was the merc's utility belt. Even he didn't know what was in there.

"Good job, boy. Now, this is the only chance I will give you - do you want to stop?"

Wade considered for a second. At this point, though, he didn't feel like Wade. He felt like a shameful, submissive servant.

"No, Sir. I don't want you to stop."

Peter nodded approvingly, smiling. 

"Good answer. Where can I remove your outfit?"

Wade hesitated for a second before the servant reached his hand up, pointing at the back of his neck to a well-hidden zipper.

Peter slowly walked around the submissive, loving the way Wade couldn't meet his eyes. It seemed perfect. 

He fingered the back of Wade's neck before finding the zipper, and slowly but surely bringing it down. Peter leaned up to Wade's ear, whispering.

" _At any time, for any reason, you can say 'Venom,' and I'll stop what I'm doing and give you space. We will end right there, no judgement. Nod if you understand. I will not accept any other word or plea as a reason to stop._ "

The servant didn't need more than a second to decide.

He nodded.

Peter smiled at his boy, finishing bringing the zipper down the servant's right leg. He stood up straight and admired the view. He could see that Wade was commando under his uniform. He was slick in sweat. Peter could smell the musky scent from a foot away.

Delicious.

He quickly and efficiently removed the rest of the servant's costume, leaving the sweaty, nervous man shifting in the spot as Peter kicked the outfit away.

Wade's whole body was indeed covered in the same scars that marred his face. There were crevices and unnatural folds where there wasn't mottled pink skin. 

"You are gorgeous."

A tear slid down Wade's face.

Peter frowned and walked around the man, examining him up and down before looking up at Wade's face.

"Look at me."

Wade slowly looked up, another tear falling down.

"I told you that you are gorgeous. Your Sir has just given you a compliment. What is the proper response, boy?"

Wade shuffled some more, blinking furiously, hoping that he could stop looking into Peter's strong, hazel eyes.

Peter loved the fear and insecurity he saw in Wade's electric blue eyes. Right now, they were glistening with the threat of tears. Both men were as hard as they've ever been. Apparently whiskey dick doesn't affect those with strong metabolisms.

Peter tsked.

"I just asked you a question. Answer me. Now."

Wade couldn't speak. Peter sighed.

"Fine. Then I guess I'll have to force you to make some noise."

He took a step forward, breaking the trance Wade was in. The man went back to looking at his feet. His disgusting, shriveled feet. 

Peter brought his fingertips up and down Wade's chest, tracing bumps and crags with curiosity. He brought his right hand down, near Wade's cut, 6.5-inch erection.

Peter let his middle finger drag tantalizingly down Wade's cock, stirring up a feeling of electric sparks all throughout Wade's body and making him gasp slightly. Peter smirked.

Suddenly, he darted his hand to Wade's balls and took an iron grip on them.

Wade's immediate reaction to the pain was to try and remove Peter's hand, but a little bit of well-applied super strength meant this only resulted in a harder crushing of the man's testicles.

Wade yelped, futilely trying to remove Peter's hand. Peter took a step back, forcing Wade to follow by guiding him from his balls. Wade was crying, clutching Peter's arm, trying to stand the pain.

It was odd. Being blown up, shot, cut to ribbons, poisoned - pretty much any death you could think of, all of which had occurred thousands of times to him, they pretty much all felt the same. They stung, but honestly did little more than that. But this was different. He felt this. It rocked him to his core and took his breath away.

"Now, I remember asking you a question. So tell me, what is the proper response when a Sir compliments his servant?"

Wade sobbed, trying to choke out an answer.

"He- He- He thanks- AGH!"

Peter had given a hard yank.

"Answer my fucking question. NOW."

"HE THANKS HIS SIR, SIR."

Peter smiled, slowly letting his grip on the man's balls loosen.

Finally, after Wade got his breathing back under control, Peter let go.

"There we go. That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Wade shook his head.

"No, Sir. That wasn't hard."

"Good boy. So, I'll restate: you are gorgeous. Now, what is the proper way to respond to that?"

Wade took a deep breath to steady himself. 

"Thank you, Sir."

Peter smiled, then pat Wade on the head.

"That's right! Good job. What a polite boy. I don't like hurting you, but if you are rude then I have no choice. Understand?"

The servant nodded vigorously.

"Yes, Sir!"

"Good. Do you have any lube in your utility belt?"

Wade nodded. 

"It's on the pouch to the right of the buckle, Sir." 

Peter nodded, going to the pile of weapons and clicking open the pouch on the belt. In it was, indeed, lube.

Thank God for that. Peter really didn't want to have to stop.

Peter walked back to Wade, placing his hand on Wade's spine.

"I have a question for you. When was the last time you had unprotected sex?"

Wade took a second to think.

"Perhaps... four or five years, Sir."

"And do you have any STIs?"

"No, Sir."

Peter nodded.

"I have never had unprotected sex. So, I am going to bend you over, finger your ass, and then fuck and come in you. After that, I will wipe myself off with the inside of your mask and leave. Do you have any objections to that?"

Wade shook his head.

"No, Sir. None at all."

Peter nodded, chest soaring.

"Good."

So the hand he had on Wade's spine pushed, forcing Wade to bend over. He grabbed his ankles to give his hands something to do as Peter admired the servant's ass.

"What a gorgeous ass you have." He swiped a finger down the man's butt crack, then sniffing it heavily. "And it's so musky! I've never smelled something so good."

"Thank you, Sir."

Peter rubbed Wade's butt a little bit, massaging it gently. He teased the hole with his finger a couple times, making Wade gasp.

Finally, Peter spread some lube on his right pointer finger. He pressed it against Wade's rosebud. Wade moaned, then gasped as Peter quickly shoved it in.

"Ow, ow, OW!" Wade shouted. Peter rocked his finger in and out, curling and uncurling it unceremoniously. 

"Either shut yourself up or I'll gag you with my socks. Your choice."

The servant didn't want to slow things down, he was loving every minute of this. He shut his mouth and bit his tongue, letting his hands grip his ankles as hard as he could.

"That's a good boy. Let's add another."

And so Peter did. He eventually scissored the man up to three fingers. As he fucked the man in and out, Peter brushed against his prostate, making his current closed-mouth moans turn into a shriek of unexpected pleasure. Peter smirked.

"I think it's time we get down to business, don't you?"

Wade nodded.

"Y- Yes, Sir."

So Peter pulled himself out of his pants. He was rock-hard, all 8 inches aching for Wade's tight ass. He slathered up his cock and pressed the tip of it into Wade's entrance.

"Tell me what you want me to do to you."

Wade shuddered, trying to adjust to the new ass invader.

"I- I want you to fuck me, Sir."

Peter nodded lazily.

"And?"

"And, I want you to come in me, Sir. And then leave me here while you wipe your jizz off on my hood and go back to work, Sir."

Peter nodded, pleasantly surprised.

"I was sure you'd forget something. Good job! Now, let's make that a reality!"

And with that, Peter put both hands on Wade's hips, steeled his grip, and thrust forward.

Neither Peter nor Wade felt anything like this before. Wade had only been pegged a few times by Vanessa, and it wasn't something he'd choose to do again. But this - the warmth of Peter's cock, his hands on his hips, his balls slapping Wade's own. And the fullness he felt as Peter's dick filled him up all the way and then some.

Peter had had sex a few times, but it wasn't anything special. Not like this. Not this tight, not this hot. Not this desirable.

And Peter rocked out before thrusting all the way back in, making Wade scream. Peter revelled in the man's cries of pain.

He went off, fucking furiously into Wade's ass as the servant did all he could to simply stay upright. He was being rocked backwards and forwards, just trying to keep his sweaty palms grasping his ankles.

Peter had a pretty good stamina, but this was so tight, so hot, so new, that he came after a short minute of relentless pounding into Wade's ass.

Wade felt Peter's cum enter him, filling his already-tight rectum even more. It was so hot, and he felt so humiliated from it. He was Peter's bitch.

That thought came and so did Wade. He spurted ropes of cum right onto his face, the servant trying to breathe and not get it in his eyes. Wade's clenching asshole milked Peter thoroughly, making him yelp from the surprising increase in tightness around his throbbing cock.

Once Peter was all the way done, he pulled himself out of Wade, gave the man a slap on the ass, and walked over to Wade's mask. He surrounded his member with the cloth on the inside and wiped any remaining cum and lube off.

With that finished, he zipped himself back up and prepared to go back to work. Before he left, he looked over at Wade, cum dripping from his face and leaking down his thighs.

"Make sure you clean up. And text me. This was fun."

Wade muttered an agreement, and Peter left him alone.

_Holy shit. I... I just cheated on Spidey._


	9. The Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade struggles to deal with his feelings over Spidey and Peter.
> 
> AN: If you skipped the sex scene in the last chapter, the gist of it is that Peter had sex with Wade from a dominant stance. They both enjoyed what happened, but as Wade starts to clean himself up, he starts to worry about what he just did. His last thought, the last line from the previous chapter: "Holy shit... I... I just cheated on Spidey."  
> I will skip past the part of Wade cleaning up in a clean manner.  
> Thanks again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all. I'm prolly gonna stop specific appreciative callouts of commenters, but that doesn't mean they still don't make my day! Even criticism means that my story is getting better than it was before, so feel free to let loose! Thank you all.
> 
> XOXO

[Link to my art collection! Second image is up!](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QH2BG2XHN0uVUD5X1wWo5Vc_T9dAQDGrmu9KyK0Ndpc/edit?usp=sharing)

Wade finally clicked his last weapon belt in place, his chest full of regret and pain. 

_I shouldn't have done that._

He sniffled, trying not to tear up at how Spidey would react to hearing that Wade slept with the hot bartender at Sister Margaret's. He had to tell the hero.

_~Wade...~_

_What, DP?_

Deadpool's conscious mind took a moment to think before speaking in Wade's head.

_~Don't beat yourself up. We enjoyed that. It was the best sex we've had since Vanessa.~_

Wade shook his head, cringing.

_It doesn't matter how good it was! I've cheated on Spider-Man. My hero._

Tears started sliding down his cheeks in his mask. Wade took a deep breath, trying to steady himself before he left the bar.

_~That isn't really true, Wade. He told you that you two aren't dating. And he probably hates you for killing that rapist anyway. You did nothing wrong.~_

Wade couldn't take Deadpool's logic right now. He was too emotional. His chest hurt, and he really had to get out of here before he started crying.

He was thinking as he strode out of the back room, making straight for the main door. 

He was thinking about how... how it had been fantastic. He'd loved the way Peter had taken charge, even if Wade had been uncomfortable with it at the beginning. Wade had loved dom/sub powerplay with Vanessa, but she never dominated him. It was something he fantasized about.

He just wished it weren't tainted by the thought of hurting his hero, his love, because of this amazing sex. 

So as he left the bar, avoiding Peter's questioning glances, he thought about how he might tell Spidey what he just did.

"...Wade!"

"WADE!"

Wade finally heard the voice calling after him, down the alley. It was Peter's.

He stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned around.

He couldn't look up at Peter, only seeing him in his peripheral vision.

"Wade? Are you okay?!" Peter started walking towards the man, worried. Wade stepped back hurriedly. 

The older man shook his head.

"No. I just cheated on the man I love. I need to go." 

With that, he turned around and sprinted away down the alley, ignoring the rest of Peter's cries of his name.

Tears streamed down Peter's face.

_What the fuck did I just do?_

He walked back to the bar, wiping the tears off his face and taking a deep breath to make sure he wouldn't cry in front of the customers. Folks at this bar weren't too kind when it came to things like showing emotion.

As he started cleaning the glasses and tossing Buck's beer bottles away, Peter processed what had just happened.

He mentally kicked himself. He shouldn't have done that. All he'd wanted to do was comfort Wade, but then Wade moved his hands to the older man's ass, and Peter's libido had skyrocketed.

 _He wasn't able to look at me. He hates me._

Peter felt a tear sliding down his face from his watery eyes, and turned away from the bar, pretending to straighten up the back shelves. At least it wasn't busy tonight.

He got a nerve, and turned to the bar. He called a last call, even though it was hardly past midnight. He gave out a few free rounds to make the grumpy regulars happy.

Spider-Man needed to talk to Deadpool. To Wade.

...

Wade leapt between rooftops, narrowly making the leap quite a few times. 

He needed to kill a scumbag, so he kept his ears open for any signs of screaming or pleading. Nothing so far.

He shouldn't be this hurt. After all, Peter really was such an amazing friend. He didn't seem to judge the mercenary, he listened to the problems Wade had with Spidey, and the sex...

Somewhere in his mind, not at the forefront right now, he knew that he would literally kill to have sex like that again.

Wade was struggling. He loved Spider-Man, he sought to _be_ the hero. Wade had always murdered people, and that made him a villain in the eyes of the public and, if he was being really honest, himself. 

He knew that the scum he eliminated had no right to live on this Earth, but why did he have to be the blade or bullet that kills them? As a mercenary, he rarely kills anyone over personal vendettas. Obviously, there were special cases, like Francis, who got _special attention_ from Wade on a personal note.

He wanted to be with Peter. He was so amazing, smart, kind-hearted, wise... Everything Wade loved in a man. And he was dominant! Controlling! Wade wondered if he'd ever been that hard before, even with Vanessa. 

And, if he was being honest, he was starting to have doubts about his love for Spidey. He ran the conversation he'd had with Peter over breakfast plenty of times in the past couple days, and the more he thought about it, the less he thought it was love and the more he felt it was hero worship.

Wade loved Spider-Man, as a hero. His morals and values and image to the people (at least the ones that weren't trying to sabotage him) were the stuff of legends, and Wade wanted that above all else in this world. To be ethical, heroic, and just... good. But he didn't love Spidey for Spidey, he loved Spidey for being a hero. Peter, however...

Wade couldn't say he loved Peter. Attracted to, lusted after, appreciated, all of those and more. He'd had so many good conversations since they had met only a few days ago, and Wade could see things going further with Peter, for reasons that he (and DP) agreed were much more... honest than his relationship with Spidey.

He made a resolution. The next time he met Spider-Man, he would tell the hero how he feels. How he loves him as a hero, but doesn't want to date him. He has Peter for that, if Peter would take him. 

In the meantime, he heard a scream come from his right. He immediately took off in that direction, unsheathing Bea Arthur.

...

Peter swung in the direction he saw Wade go, landing on the roof. He figured Wade might like traveling on the roofs more than on foot. Less people to stare.

Peter sighed and started sprinting across rooftops as fast as he could. Maybe he could catch up to Wade. He went in the direction of the mercenary's apartment, hoping he could catch up to the man.

Eventually, he heard sobbing coming from his right. He changed directions, landing n an alleyway where a woman was curled up against the wall. Peter stared in horror at the body of a man, but it wasn't really a body any more. It was little more than a pile of limbs, bones, and blood. The woman was sobbing, trying to wipe the blood off her face. 

Peter shook out of his stupor and walked over to the woman. He called out so as not to scare her. She looked at him and screamed.

"NO! YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE DONE! PLEASE!"

Peter stopped.

"I'm... I'm sorry, ma'am. I don't know what you mean. It's Spider-Man. I heard you crying and came to help."

Upon hearing what hero it was, the shaking woman leapt up and threw her arms around his shoulders.

" _Please get me out of here._ "

Spider-Man nodded, easily lifting the woman up and holding her tight. He ran out to the street and went left, towards the closest hospital.

Soon he had her dropped off, making sure she would be taken care of while he used the hospital's phone to call the police and let them know the location of the body. They asked him who he was, and he said that he was simply a concerned citizen, and that they should talk to the woman at the hospital.

He hung up, thanked the receptionist, and left.

The woman had told him, as he sprinted carrying her, that the man was an ex-boyfriend who had been stalking her. She got off from a night shift and he surprised her with a knife. He was gonna kill her.

And then a red-and-black suited animal fell from the sky, stabbing the man through his arms. 

As he began chopping up the man, stalling the killing blow for as long as possible, she heard him muttering to himself and making little quips to her ex.

Peter took a deep breath when he was back out on the street. He could hear sirens coming from a few blocks away. 

He _thwipped_ up into the sky and went home. 

He didn't want to look at Deadpool right now.


	10. The Text

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter receives a text from a mysterious number. What will he do next?

[DP Fanfic Drawing 3! Added to My Collection](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QH2BG2XHN0uVUD5X1wWo5Vc_T9dAQDGrmu9KyK0Ndpc/edit?usp=sharing)

The next day, Peter finally got up the courage to spend the $300 Deadpool had thrown at him. 

The tips last night had been nil, so Peter finally relented to the idea of spending Wade's money. At least he could do _something_ Wade wanted.

Peter visited a large brand-name grocery store, purchasing as much filling, nonperishable food in bulk as he could. He wanted this money to last him as long it could, he had to throw every dollar he could towards rent, utilities, and loans.

Peter stared at his mound of groceries, stacked in four large boxes. It was exclusively made up of said nonperishable food. The attendants stared wide-eyed at him as he grabbed the bottom box and lifted the whole stack of four carefully, not letting any tip over. 

Once he'd left the store, Peter ducked into an alleyway as soon as he could. He set the boxes down and grabbed his web shooter from his backpack. He webbed the boxes together in the in-between, where they wouldn't be seen. After that, there really wasn't any question of balance, making the process of carrying the heavy-for-humans but light-for-Peter stack home. 

He set the boxes down next to his kitchen table, not worrying about unpacking them, since they wouldn't spoil and nothing had to be refrigerated. 

He sat down on his ratty old couch, sighing. It wasn't particularly warm, but Peter was still sweating like a pig. 

_Like a Spider-Pig._

_S_ _pider-Pig, Spider-Pig, Does whatever Spider-Pig does. Can he swing, From a web, No he can't, He's a pig._

He didn't know where that dumb song originated, but it was hilarious. There were a few videos out there of him climbing buildings to that song. They always made him laugh.

Now Peter sat chilling on his phone. He had patrol tonight, but otherwise was free. There was always homework and studying he could do, but he decided he would be fine skipping one day of studying.

That's when the text arrived. Peter stared at the number, not recognizing it.

<2122122121> WAZZAAAAAA

Peter stared at it, dumbfounded.

<Me> Um. Hey?

He only had to wait a second before the next reply came.

<2122122121> R u jizzed I messaged u??????????

Peter still hosted a confused expression on his face.

<Me> Do you mean jazzed? Who are you?

<2122122121> LOL NO BB. It's me! DP!

Peter slapped his face. Of course it was. It's not like he hadn't recently given his phone number out to the man. 

Honestly though, he really wasn't expecting Wade to message him. He looked really hurt in that alleyway, right before he charged off. Couldn't even look Peter in the eye. 

Peter added the number as a contact. He originally thought to list it as 'Pool, but didn't want to give the man away if his phone was ever compromised.

<Me> Wade! Hey!

He scolded himself. Why couldn't he be better at this?

<Wade> Heyo QT butt. Watcha doin?

<Me> Sitting on my couch. Just did some shopping.

<Wade> U have food! I was wunderin if I would have 2 force more food down ur throat.

<Me> Honestly, you wouldn't have to force it. I'd gladly put anything in my mouth atm.

Just as he clicked "Send", Peter blushed. He didn't realize how sexual that sounded.

<Wade> Oh sugar plum, u rly know how 2 get my engine running.

Peter blushed even harder.

<Me> Soooooooo

<Me> What's up? What are you doing today?

<Wade> Oh u know. Just chillin like a villain. Kinda bored 2day.

Peter chuckled.

<Me> So, when you're bored, you think of me?

<Wade> NOT EVEN BB. Well, kinda. I thot u might b down 4 something fun.

Peter laughed.

Then he stopped.

_What the fuck?_

The mercenary had literally _butchered_ a man last night, likely scarring that woman forever. 

_At least she's still alive..._

Peter shook his head.

<Me> IDK DP. Not doing too well rn.

<Wade> GASP. Wut's got u down bb? Someone bullying u? I can beat them up!

Peter thought how he should phrase this next text.

<Me> I got out of work early last night. Wasn't feeling good. Walked home, and I saw something awful.

There was a slight delay before the next message came in.

<Wade> What was it?

Hm. What indeed?

<Me> It was a guy, but he wasn't a guy anymore. Someone had killed him. Cut him up. There were police everywhere.

Silence.

His phone sat quiet for a minute before he received a new text.

<Wade> I'm sorry you saw that, Pete. 

<Wade> It's complicated

<Wade> But

Peter's heart raced. What lie was Wade gonna throw his way?

<Wade> It was me.

Peter's heart stopped.

_WHAT?!_

_Holy shit!_

<Me> What do you mean?

He waited, holding his breath.

<Wade> It was me. I took care of that guy.

Peter sat staring at the words, shocked.

_He just admitted to murder... to me._

<Me> You killed him?! Why?!

A minute passed.

<Wade> He was going to kill this woman. Had a knife and was about to cut her throat. I stopped him.

Peter sat staring at his phone, not sure how to respond. He wasn't expecting this confession.

<Wade> Pete?

<Wade> U there?

Peter couldn't think of what to say. So he said nothing.

His phone was silent for a bit, before lighting up with a new message.

<Wade> I'm sorry. I'm not a good guy. Not by a long shot.

_I... I think you are. Don't know why, though..._

<Wade> Just tell me rn, and I'll delete your number and leave you alone.

_Don't._

<Wade> I won't even go to the bar, if you want.

_I don't want that._

<Wade> I just couldn't lie to you.

_But I'm lying to you._

<Wade> U still there?

<Me> Yeah

He waited, then sent his next message.

<Me> Why did you do it? Cut him up?

Silence.

Silence. 

Silence.

<Wade> I don't know.

<Wade> It wasn't me.

<Wade> But it was.

<Wade> That doesn't make sense

<Wade> Sorry

Peter thought.

<Me> When you say it isn't you...

<Me> Do you mean it was Deadpool?

Peter waited with bated breath.

<Wade> Yeah. I guess

<Wade> I should stop texting you. Sorry

Peter's heart raced.

<Me> No!

<Me> Don't stop.

<Wade> Why?

Peter thought carefully.

<Me> Can I ask you a question before I answer that?

<Wade> I guess

<Me> Did you, Wade Wilson, independent of Deadpool, want to do that? The violence?

He waited. This next answer would determine how he moved forward with Wade. If he could.

<Wade> Yes

Peter's stomach dropped.

<Wade> But

Peter's heart rate rose slightly.

<Wade> I don't want to want to do that

Peter's thoughts raced.

<Me> Are you busy right now?

<Wade> No

<Me> I'll be over in 20 mins.

And with that, Peter leapt off the couch. He grabbed a box of granola bars that he could reach from his homemade pantry, pulling one bar out and shoving it in his mouth while he pulled out the small silver box from his backpack. He opened it, revealing his two web shooters. He slid them on, and immediately they took action. 

Nanobots started forming his Spider-Man suit, reaching up his arms and meeting in the center of his chest. They covered his hands, head, legs, and everything else with his nanobot uniform.

He swapped between his cloth and nanobot uniforms whenever he felt like it. Sometimes he wanted to feel the way the air blew through the relatively thin cloth of his old uniform. But sometimes, like today, he desired a more hi-tech means of travel, especially if he were traveling to Wade's place in broad daylight. The suit had a number of features, most compliments of Tony, but he had managed to add some of his own designs too.

Today, as he leapt out of his window, anyone looking up wouldn't have seen anything but a glass window shut to an apartment on the fire escape. Peter had worked long and hard in his five years with Tony, creating plenty of advanced technology besides his mentor. This was a development he was particularly proud of. It was essentially invisibility.

He coded the nanobots to create this effect, blending in with the environment around them, protecting Peter from view.

He landed on the wall opposite his window and climbed up to the roof.

The only drawback to this technology was that he couldn't use his webs to travel if he wanted to stay hidden. After all, it's not like he could change his signature webbing to be "invisible."

_At least, not yet._

Peter smirked as he ran across rooftops, dashing in the direction of Wade's apartment. If he were lucky, he would reach the building in fifteen minutes, giving him enough time to hide in an alley and remove the nanobot uniform.

So there he was, standing in front of Wade's (crappy) building, slipping his wrist launchers into his right-hand pocket. The silver box was too large to carry in a pocket and _completely_ ruined the lining of his suit.

He walked in the front door, slightly nervous, and went up to Wade's floor in the dingy elevator.

So there he was, twenty minutes on the dot standing outside of Wade's apartment. He knocked.

_Here we go._


	11. The Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade takes Peter on a walk for some ice cream. Is that where the date stops?

Peter stared at the peephole, waiting for Wade to answer the door. He checked his phone.

No new messages.

He tapped his foot slightly, not wanting to seem rude but having so much energy that he had to direct it somewhere.

"Wade?"

He knocked again.

Finally, he could hear a latch slide across the door.

The knob twisted. The door pulled inward.

And there was Wade, uniformed up as always.

_Well, almost always._

Peter chuckled slightly, and smiled widely.

"Hi, Wade."

Wade looked nervous under his mask.

"Hey, Pete. Do you... want to... come in?"

Peter had never seen Wade this nervous.

He smiled brightly, trying to comfort Wade.

"Sure! Sounds fun."

Wade gave the slightest hint of a smile as he stepped aside for Peter to enter.

Peter walked in, looking around. It was definitely dirtier than it was before.

'So..." Peter started. He looked around, then at Wade.

Wade looked at him. "So..."

Peter started.

"I... think that was really brave of you. Telling me that."

Wade stared at him silently.

"It wasn't a good thing, killing him like that. But... do you mean what you said? That you _don't want_ to want to do that?"

Wade looked at his hands nervously, but nodded. Peter lit up. The man wasn't perfect, but he wanted to be better.

It's not like he was lying to Peter, something the hero couldn't say about himself.

"Would you like to do something?"

Wade looked up quickly. He examined Peter's face, maybe seeing if this was some kind of trick, before nodding yes.

"What would you like to do?"

Wade looked at him for a second, chuckling nervously and rubbing the back of his neck as he shut his front door. 

"I mean... you came over here, Pete. What did you have in mind?"

Peter sat down on the couch, brushing off chips bags and taco wrappers.

"Wanna sit?" He patted the seat next to him, similar to how Deadpool had pat the picnic blanket what seemed like ages ago.

Wade nodded and sat down, looking over at Peter.

Peter hesitate before asking his next question.

"...could you take off the mask?"

Wade stopped, heart pacing. He didn't respond as he slowly removed it, tossing it on the coffee table in front of them.

Peter smiled. He truly thought Wade was handsome. And his eyes...

"Thank you. I'm glad I get to see your eyes. They're gorgeous."

Wade blushed slightly. It was hard to see the blush with his mottled pink skin, but Peter could tell.

"Thanks, Pete."

He wrung his hands slightly. Peter thought for a moment, then spoke his thoughts out loud.

"I... wanted to ask you something."

Wade nodded, looking down at his hands.

"Have you spoken with Spider-Man?"

Wade stopped moving his hands.

"Um... No. He's made it perfectly clear that we are not dating, and I haven't seen him in a few days. Not that I need to see the person I date every day or something, but considering Spider-Man can cover the length of the city in a few minutes, I find it hard to think he couldn't have found and stopped me at some point to talk."

Peter nodded, trying not to betray his emotions. Wade would have been right, except Peter had been working at the bar when he should have been swinging as Spider-Man. The bills were too much.

"I see. That... makes sense." Peter paused to think. 

He didn't want to lead Wade on, but clearly the man was not happy with his alter-ego right now. Maybe he could change that tonight at patrol, and finally confess his deception to the man.

"You know, we've spent so much of our time talking about Spider-Man, and we haven't had a real conversation outside of the bar besides that breakfast, where we talked about him again. What if we spent an afternoon not talking about him?"

Wade smiled.

"I'd like that, Petey! What would you wanna do?" 

Peter chuckled.

"Well, I got to decide our last... meeting. Why don't you pick somewhere fun to go?"

Wade smiled that much brighter. 

"How about Central Park? I know this fantastic ice cream stand right on the edge of it, maybe we could walk through the park a little?"

Peter smiled and nodded.

"Lead the way! Are you gonna go out in your uniform?"

Wade stopped smiling.

"I don't leave my apartment without it. Unless you think I should wear something different?" He was clearly uncomfortable with this thought.

Peter went along with it, hoping to push the man's comfort zone a bit.

"I've only seen you in that outfit, when you're wearing clothes." Wade blushed at that, smile increasing. Peter continued.

"Do you have something else? I'd like to spend my time with Wade, not Deadpool."

Wade chuckled slightly, then stopped.

"Um. Sure. I'll... go get changed."

He walked into his bedroom, grabbing the mask along the way. He shut the door to his room and leaned up against it, taking deep breaths.

_Fuck! What the FUCK am I doing?_

_~Leaving me behind! Keep it on!~_

_Keep it on... for you..._

Immediately, he grabbed the zipper at the back of his neck and brought it down. He stepped out of the uniform, weapons and all, leaving him stark naked.

_~LOL Stark naked? Let's not make too many comparisons to Peter's old daddy, huh?~_

Wade shook off the thought. Deadpool always got at least a little quieter when he wasn't in the outfit, which wasn't often these days. Maybe that would change.

Wade walked to his dresser, which had all non-Deadpool clothing in it. Most of it was sweats and sweatshirts that could fit over his uniform, but he did have some cute underwear and at least one pair of jeans here...

He slid on a pair of Deadpool briefs. His Spidey pair was currently with Peter, hopefully he could get those back soon. 

Then he brought up a loose-fitting pair of jeans and slid a zip-up hoodie on. He threw on his uniform's boots, as he didn't have anything else in the way of shoes. He slid on a pair of soft leather gloves, a bandana around his nose and throat, and a pair of sunglasses. He brought the hood up, and walked back into the living room. He had also snatched his phone, wallet, and several small blades and guns, tucking them into various slots in his clothes. Everything that was "civilian" fit him loose, so that he could sew holsters into the inside of it. 

Wade refused to go anywhere without a respectable armory on his person. You never know what'll happen.

He closed the door behind him, looking up to Peter's smile. He smiled back shyly under the bandana.

_At least it isn't his full uniform... I can see a little bit of his face..._

"So... ready to go?" Peter asked. Wade nodded and opened the front door. He shut it after Peter followed, locking it with a hidden key.

They set off to the elevator, riding to the lobby.

Peter was bold. He grabbed one of Wade's gloved hands and pulled the older man as the elevator doors opened.

The younger man led them outside, smiling into the sun.

"So? Where to?" Peter said, a smile lighting up his face.

Wade could stare at that smile for years and never get bored of it. 

He nodded to his left, where only a couple blocks down and a block to the right sat Central Park. Peter smiled and pulled on Wade's hand.

They walked like this all the way down and across the street. Peter refused to be anywhere other than ahead of Wade, pulling him along so they could get as much sunlight in the park as possible with the time they had left.

Soon, they stood on the edge of it, waiting in a long line at an ice cream stand. 

Several people in line had nervously glanced at Wade, either clutching their purses or loved ones closer to them. Wade paid them no mind, but Peter wasn't happy with it.

They stood for a minute, the line slowly weedling away.

Then a middle-aged woman with a bob cut, right in front of them, started a pattern of turning to Wade and scoffing. She clutched her necklace and chest every time, making a big scene of it. Peter couldn't help but snap at her.

"You can go ahead and stop that, now." She glared at the boy.

" _Excuse **me**_. I am _trying_ to have a nice day, but _this-_ " She glanced at Wade, who was looking down at his feet, embarrassed. "- _creature_ keeps making menacing eyes at me!" 

She was getting much louder, attracting the attention of the other people in line. Both the salesman and the person purchasing ice cream had stopped to look at the three.

"I swear! If we weren't in public, _I dare say he would have already ATTACKED ME!_ " She was screeching now, backing away from the hooded man, who was doing absolutely nothing. 

Peter, however, was just about ready to sock this woman in the jaw. 

" _If you're so afraid of him, then leave. Because I am much worse than him, and I am ready to attack you myself._ " Peter had said this in a low, threatening tone. Only the woman and maybe the couple in front of her could hear it.

She blanched. Something about this boy, now standing protectively in front of the hooded man, was telling her she needed to leave.

She scoffed again and started walking away.

The other people in the line stared for another minute before looking back ahead, waiting for their chance to get ice cream and get out of there.

Wade whispered nervously at Peter.

" _You didn't have to do that. You shouldn't have. You don't know what people are capable of._ " 

_~Remember, folks! He **thinks** he's talking to scrawny Peter Parker, the bartender. Not Peter Parker, the super hero.~_

Peter chuckled, making Wade fidget.

" _I'm not worried, Wade. It's all a show. I have you to protect me with all those weapons you're hiding, right?_ "

Wade paled, stammering. Peter shushed him and grabbed his hand again, leaning up against the taller man's arm.

With the speed that the other customers were trying to get out of there, soon it was their turn.

Wade pulled out his wallet.

"Can you get me a couple scoops of peanut butter?" The man behind the stand nodded.

"Sure, Wade. And what about for your gentleman friend here?"

Peter smiled slightly.

"Cookies and cream, thanks." 

The man nodded again, prepping double scoops of each and handing them to the respective men. 

Wade pulled out a hundred and handed it to the man before shoving his wallet back in his pocket, pulling Peter along with his left hand as his right held the ice cream.

The man behind the stand laughed heartily at the generous payment.

"Have a great day, fellas!"

Wade gave a short nod to him as he and Peter walked towards the entrance to the park.

Peter hardly ever visited Central Park. He always preferred to try and stay somewhere he could web his way out of, if needed. While the trees may be somewhat tall, he wasn't sure that anything short of the tallest and thickest trunks _might_ be able to support his weight as he swung between them.

Wade slowed his pace down, and Peter walked up alongside him. Peter's right hand and Wade's left were holding each other. Their other hands were holding the ice cream cones, bringing them to the men's mouths for the occasional lick.

Every time Peter licked, he made eyes at Wade, who was doing his best not to look at the younger man for fear of getting an erection in his loose-fitting jeans. 

They walked down a central path, enjoying the way the light shone through the trees. 

Soon the cones were melting faster, so the men took a seat on a bench and finished them off.

When the ice cream was gone, Peter sighed and leaned against Wade's shoulder.

"That was fantastic. I haven't had a treat that good in months."

Wade smiled.

"I'm glad I could provide."

Peter looked up at the man, who turned to look at the boy.

"Do you need to keep that bandana and those sunglasses on? I want to see your eyes and hear your voice loud and clear."

Wade paused. This boy, this young man, had seen more of him in two days than anyone had willingly seen in years. And Peter told Wade that he _enjoyed_ the sight.

With a sigh, Wade pulled his bandana down to his neck and slid his sunglasses into his right-hand pocket with his phone. 

He looked at Peter, blue eyes sparkling with affection.

"Better?"

Peter giggled and snuggled against the larger man.

"So much better."

They sat like that for quite a while, watching as the sunlight that broke through the trees slowly moved across the concrete as the sun made its' way towards setting. 

Soon, Peter and Wade sat entranced in the sunset that backlit the trees. Nobody had come their way, surprisingly. They got this local area all to themselves, for a good while. Peter kept nuzzling into Wade's shoulder, sighing happily. Wade was clenching and unclenching his legs to try and will away the erection he had growing. He'd hoped Peter hadn't noticed it.

There was a small crack.

Wade jerked his head, making Peter jump slightly.

"Wade? What's..."

Then he felt it, his Spider-Sense tingling.

Three.... four... six... 

At least ten people were making their way towards the couple sitting on the bench, coming from all sides.

_Fuck. How could I have not noticed?!_

Peter chastised himself as Wade stiffened up.

"We need to go."

Peter's eyebrows raised.

"How are we going to get away?"

Wade slid his bandana back up, but left the sunglasses off. He then reached into his clothing, pulling out several throwing knives in one hand and a small pistol in the other.

"Peter. I want you to sit here and close your eyes. Cover your ears. I don't want you to see or hear what's about to happen. Please, promise me you'll do that."

Peter's core was screaming at him to leap into action as the men drew closer. There were twelve in total.

"But I can-"

Wade cut him off.

"NO. Close your eyes, cover your ears. When I am done, I will grab your arm and pull you from the area. You are not to open your eyes or uncover your ears until I tap you three times, _do you understand me?!_ "

Peter's hero side wanted to object, but he couldn't spring into action without showing Wade who he was. As much as he hated it, he nodded and did as the man commanded.

Wade stood up, turning in a circle slowly.

_Twelve pairs of shoes... Sneakers, by the sound of it. Not professionals, most likely muggers or rapists._

He identified where all of them were as they closed in.

Finally, he could see them all in the practically-gone light. A lamp above the bench lit up, shining on Wade and the "cowering" Peter.

With his super-hearing, Peter could still hear everything. The men surrounding them sounded calm as a whole, but a couple's hearts were beating faster than they should have been. They must be new. 

They weren't hitmen. Some small consolation, at least. He might be able to just let Wade handle the lot of them.

"Well? Go ahead and tell me what you want," Wade challenged.

One man walked forward. Just as he began to speak, he stopped at the sound of a _gursh_. A knife glittered in his throat, sticking out straight through his esophagus and severing his spinal cord.

He dropped down, dead. The other eleven were stunned.

Peter gasped as he heard the body drop to the ground. He wanted to stop Wade, to neutralize these men without killing them. But he had no choice, if he wanted to keep his identity hidden.

Soon, the rest started shouting, six loud and angry, five quieter than them. Those who screamed loudest started dropping like flies.

Wade had slid a suppressor on his pistol, and between that and throwing knives, five of the six closest aggressors were down.

Only half to go.

However, this half were much closer. Even if five of them were a touch meeker than the rest of their comrades, they were inspired by the one remaining pissed-off aggressor, who leapt onto Wade and tackled him to the ground from behind. 

Peter sat with his hands over his ears, until his Spider-Senses blared louder than ever.

It wouldn't be deadly. He had to take the hit.

A pistol butt smacked into the left side of his head, throwing the boy down onto the ground, clutching his bleeding wound. He felt sick.

Wade wrestled with the man on his back. He heard something happening with Peter, but all he could do was hope as he slid his remaining knife cleanly across the man's carotid artery.

The aggressor moved from offense to defense, clutching at his throat as both he and Wade were showered with blood. He rolled off of Wade, gasping, trying to save his torn neck.

Wade took this opportunity to leap up, pulling out another pistol. 

The four men still approaching him dropped. None of them had been confident enough to pull the trigger on their small-caliber pistols and risk hurting their last remaining veteran. So they ended up falling to the ground, holes gushing blood and brains between their eyes.

Wade turned wildly towards the bench as he heard the man on the ground stop moving.

One of the men was on top of Peter, trying to plunge his knife into the boy. Peter was fighting valiantly, trying his best to not let his instincts use his super-strength to lob this man off of him. He screamed in pain, his hands holding the knife by its' blade.

Wade was on him at once, tackling the man into the bench. The man groaned and the knife fell out of his hands. Peter gasped as Wade accidentally stepped on his stomach so the merc could stand over the assailant, wailing on him with his fists.

It wasn't long before he stopped fighting. A sickening _crack_ could be heard as Wade gave one final hit to the man's nose. It shattered inwards, spearing the man's brain with bone.

Wade gasped for breath, then realizing he was standing on Peter's stomach. He quickly leapt off and crouched by the boy, looking him over.

He had been pistol-whipped in the head. His hands were torn up from the boy being forced to grab the blade to keep it from cutting into his neck.

Peter sobbed, curling in on himself.

_Why the fuck did this have to happen tonight?_

That was all Wade could think as he picked Peter up in his arms, cradling the injured boy gently. 

The boy was heavier than Wade was expecting, but still pretty light overall. He made his way out of the park, basically at a run. He needed to get to his medical kit, ignoring the massacre that lay behind him.

...

Wade carried Peter all the way back to his apartment, letting the boy cry as he cuddled the older man, leaning into Wade's chest. His head was pounding and he was getting really dizzy, he might have a concussion. He tried not to focus on the blood that poured extensively down his head, now sticking his cheek to the man's bloody hoodie.

Wade opened the apartment with his hidden key, quickly carrying Peter to the bathroom. He set the boy on top of Wade's rug, stroking his hair as the man reached into the cabinet under the sink and pulled out his large medical-aid kit. Even if he didn't need it, he always had a spare in case if a mortal were hurt in his apartment.

_~Good first date, Wade! A-plus!~_


	12. The Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up in Wade's apartment (again) after having (another) bad day. This should be easier, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short chapter, but I wanted to try and continue working on this story. Hopefully this is a good start to jump back in.

Peter groaned, reaching his hand up to his bandaged head. It throbbed madly, making every thought difficult.

He opened his eyes, realizing he was back in Wade's apartment. All around him on the My Little Pony comforter were medical supplies - gauze, alcohol, stitching supplies. He rubbed his head, feeling like a couple of stitches had been put in.

_Oh God. I hope he doesn't notice how quickly I heal._

Peter sat up, his head throbbing at this. There was a bottle of aspirin on the nightstand next to the bed with a cute little " _Take Three!_ " note and a glass of water next to it.

Peter popped six down (his metabolism meant pain meds needed to be taken in excess, just like his alcohol). He swallowed them with some water before hearing the thudding of footsteps.

The door silently opened, with Wade standing in the doorway, a look of worry painting his face. He had put the Deadpool uniform back on.

"Baby boy, you're awake! Thank Death." He sat down on the comforters, drawing Peter into a deep bear hug. It kind of made Peter's head throb, but the warmth and care shown in the hug more than made up for it. 

"I'm awake, Wade. No worries. You took care of me?" Peter gestured to his head.

The older man nodded, some tears springing up beneath his mask. 

"Yeah, Pete. I couldn't take it if you'd died because of me." There was real concern in the mercenary's voice.

Peter buried his face into Wade's neck.

"I'm okay, 'Pool. No need to worry. I'm gonna be fine."

Wade nodded, smushing his mask to dab the tears that had sprung up. 

The man reached for Peter's head, and the boy pulled back.

"I need to check your stitches, baby. I need to make sure they aren't getting infected."

Peter could already feel that his healing factor had been working in his sleep. He didn't want Wade to notice just how quickly Peter could recover from this. He brought his hands up to stop Wade, a look of fondness crossing the boy's face.

"I appreciate it, Wade. However, I have medical training. I can look at it when I get back home." Wade nodded and dropped his hands, a dark look crossing his face.

"So, you'll be going home, then. I'm so, so sorry Pete. It was my fault. I shouldn't have brought you-" Peter slapped his hand over the merc's masked mouth, stopping him from saying whatever self-deprecating statement he was about to make. 

"Stop that right there, Wade. You didn't do anything wrong. I have no idea why those men were there, but all you did was protect me. I'm nothing but appreciative."

Wade nodded, sniffling. Peter slipped his fingers under Wade's mask and slowly rolled it up to the scarred man's nose. He leaned in and kissed the merc deeply, slipping his tongue into the man's mouth.

That's when it clicked for Wade. Who Peter was.

_No fucking way._

The kiss was the same. The invasive and filling properties of his tongue. The sweet taste. It was exactly the same as kissing Spider-Man. 

Wade stared open-mouthed at Peter.

Peter chuckled.

"Good first kiss?"

Wade couldn't breathe. 

Peter was Spider-Man.

Peter slid out of the bed and gave Wade a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll text you later. The ice cream was really delicious, Wade. I'd love to get some more sometime."

He left the apartment, evidently not noticing Wade's internal crisis.

_Holy shit. Peter is Spider-Man_ _._

_~Aw. That means no three-ways with the two of them.~_


	13. The Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade realizes just how much of a fool he's been.

_~Hey everyone. It's your favorite mercenary here! Get ready for Wade beating himself up! Yahoo!~_

"You're a dick, DP."

Wade sat on his couch, moping. His head was between his knees and he was taking deep breaths.

_I can't believe Petey is Spidey. Spidey is Petey. I've kissed him twice._

_~It was good kissing though, amiright?~_

_That's not the point, DP._

He got a text message from Peter.

<Petey-Pie> My stitches are healing well. No infection. Thank you again for taking care of me.

Silence. Wade didn't know how to respond to this.

<Petey-Pie> Wade? You there?

<Me> I'm here BB. Just about to go hunt down a spider.

<Petey-Pie> Hunt down? What do you mean?

<Me> Don't worry about it sugar. I'll see you at the bar tonight, yeah?

<Petey-Pie> Yeah, I'll see you there.

Wade put his phone down. He stood up, stretching out his back and popping his neck back and forth before grabbing his gear.

He packed all the non-lethal stuff for tonight. In other words, the single stun gun an old lover had once left at Wade's apartment.

_I can't believe he lied to me! What a little brat! He has some explaining to do._

_~OOH! Give him a spanking! What a naughty little boy!~_

Wade slapped himself in the head.

_I really need you to focus for this, DP._

_~Sorrrrry Waaaade.~_

I'm not sure how much more sarcastic I can make that.

...

Soon Wade was leaping between tall buildings slower than a speeding bullet. He leapt from rooftop to rooftop, playing a recording of a screaming man on the phone that sat in his butt pocket. 

He _may_ _not_ have been screaming out of pain or anything (or at least, bad pain), but it would do the trick. Orgasming men and screaming ones are so similar in sound.

Soon Gotham's favorite caped crusader-

_~Wrong fanfiction, boss.~_

Soon New York's favorite webslinger landed in front of Deadpool, who skidded to a stop.

"DP! Why do you have a recording of a man screaming on your phone?!" He looked harried, as he had rushed to get to the screaming.

"Oh, sorry baby boy! I wasn't sure how else to get your attention, what with I'm sure is a busy busy schedule." Wade placed his silent phone back in his pocket.

"Yeah, I actually am quite busy. What's up?" Wade looked at the boy. Little brat.

"Well, I'm having some issues with a friend of mine. You know him. Peter Parker."

Peter's blood ran cold.

"Uh... issues? What kind of issues?"

Wade continued on with the farce.

"Well, I think he's in danger. He's gonna be attacked tonight at the bar he works at and I wanted to make sure that he would be protected. You do that, right? Protect innocents?"

Peter's heart was pounding. Wade continued.

"So anyway, I wanted to get your attention and ask for your help. I figured you and I could do a good old-fashioned stakeout of the bar he works at tonight. You remember the one? Where you dropped Bea off?"

Peter nodded, heart thudding. How the hell was he gonna get out of this without tipping DP off? And who is he in danger from?!

"I remember."

Wade nodded. "Good. Then I'll see you there, 9pm sharp. You're free to help me out, right?"

Peter shuddered slightly.

"Unfortunately, I can't make it. Got plans tonight."

Peter could feel waves of _hurt_ radiating off of Wade.

"Are you sure? Cause Peter and I are close friends and I'm coming to you, asking for your help. He could die!" 

Peter took a shuddering breath.

"You see, Wade, I-" Wade finished the sentence for him.

"-have to work at the bar?" 

Peter blanched.

"What did you say?"

Wade harrumphed.

"You heard me, _Peter_. I know it's you under there. I knew from the moment you kissed me earlier. Only one man has ever kissed me like that, and the first one was Spider-Man."

Peter didn't have anything to say. His heart was hammering in his chest. He felt like his chest would explode. He took his mask off, taking in deep breaths.

"Wade, I-"

"Save it, Peter. Hope your shift goes well tonight."

With that, Wade dashed off. Sitting where he stood just moments ago was a stun gun and a note.

_To protect you while I'm not around._


End file.
